This is the time to take a step back and do something that you enjoy. Its also okay to take an anti-depressant or whatever helps you get some rest. Make no mistake, the meetings are a psychic attack. They take a lot out of you. You need to review the facts. Read about all the nuts in history that have said the due time has approached. Read the old Wt and Awake quotes. Review Jwfacts.com, ect.
There is ASOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. You are in a harsh enviroment. Get out or use this time to toughen up mentally, until you can get out. No matter what, we are supporting you. Remember that the WTBTS leaders have nothing left but fear. They don't have THE TRUTH.
DD