I am upfront about not wanting one night stands,
its a pity you cant usually see what other women put on dating sites---but trust me--they ALL say that. then they moan they cant get dates. go figure
Dating Advice needed
by KateWild 51 Replies latest social relationships
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FlyingHighNow
Is dating multiple guys ethical?
Of course. No one said you have to date to find a serious relationship or husband. Just be upfront. You are dating and not interested in being exclusive right now. Tell the guys that and be very careful.
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FlyingHighNow
I don't know how old you are, but a guy taking me for coffee at 10am in the morning is interested in more than just sex, I am sure of it. I have chatted with him a bit on the site, but he was bold enough and confident enough to ask me out. I like that in a man.
Maybe he is interested in more than just sex. Don't let the 10 AM coffee date fool you though.
I agree it's not a good idea to bring up the JW thing. I don't even want to date a born or raised in JW unless he is very healthy in transitioning into the world and all its glory.
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flipper
KATE- Just be careful out there. There are a lot of " posers " out there pretending to be something they are not- a good guy. That being said there are lots of honest guys out there as well. I met my wife of 8 years on E-Harmony .com a dating site in America. Worked out fine. I dated several women on the site before I met Mrs. Flipper as well. I was dating a couple of E-Harmony ladies at the same time also, just getting to know them for a few weeks first without anything physical and they were fine with that in that I was initially getting to know others. Once it's been several months or so though and you think it might get serious towards a long term relationship with a guy- the kind thing to do would be to be excluseively with him at that point in the relationship if that is what both you and he agree on.
Different people are different. Some people are fine with " open " relationships where both parties are intimate with others- although it's a good way to contract an STD or some other unwanted " gift that keeps giving " - if you get my drift . Many times though people who claim they don't get jealous if their partner sleeps around are just bullshitting and saving face claiming they don't get jealous. People are human and it can't help but hurt if your partner is sleeping more with someone else than you.
Once you think you are going to be in a serious long term relationship I would definitely tell a prospective partner about your past JW life and be honest telling him that you disagree with it now and have moved on in your life and it's in your past. And make sure that you talk about your views of life now and see if his views jive with yours. I did this with my current wife and it really helped. So just a few tips from a guy who dated a lot at one time . Good luck to you ! Hope you find the man of your dreams ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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dozy
I'm on a few dating sites as well. It's been an interesting experience and I've had some nice dates , though the impression I get is that genuinely single men greatly outnumber the women so any semi decent female will have no problem in finding a nice guy. Bigmac is right about the married guys though - from what women tell me , many users of dating sites (POF , match.com etc ) are frustrated men in sexless marriages looking for a bit of nookie - sometimes with , sometimes without the knowledge of their wives. One coffee date told me that one guy she met forgot to take of his wedding ring , suddenly realised he still had it on and popped to the toilet to take it off hoping that she didn't notice! If you meet a guy you like , just ask a few probing questions - eventually if he is married it will be evident ( speaking about his wife in the present tense , being vague about his living arrangements etc )
I've mentioned my ex-JW past in a couple of dates , mainly when they ask about the rest of my family ( brothers / sisters / parents ) and I tell them that I'm pretty much shunned. One was very interested as her best friend used to be a JW- most are pretty bored though or confused. Up to you if you bring it up. It really underlined to me just how irrelevant JWs are to the population at large.
Is it wise to give out a home number? Personally if I was a woman I'd just get a pay as you go sim and a cheap phone and give that number out. You don't want some nutter phoning you at 3AM when he comes in drunk from the pub.
Have a nice time Kate - just chill - and enjoy the coffee , meals and attention. Watch out for the sleaze balls , losers and married guys - at the end of the day it is something of a numbers game and you might have to kiss ( metaphorically speaking ) a lot of frogs to find your prince. I'm sure you'll find Mr Right.....
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joe134cd
In the initial stages I have no problem with someone going on other dates with people. I mean you don't buy the first car you test ride do you. I say get to know other people, and in fact I openly encourage it. However on saying that if after a year or two, and the person was still playing the same game then that's a different story.
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leaving_quietly
I don't know how old you are, but a guy taking me for coffee at 10am in the morning is interested in more than just sex, I am sure of it.
I'm a couple of years older than you. I hope my comment didn't offend you too much. It was made purely in jest.
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RayPublisher
You are gonna do fine Ms Sam ur smart ;)
Of course you can always see the good brothers on JWmatch.com hehe
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DJS
Is dating multiple guys ethical? At the same time? Just kidding. In the last year I was on a few of the dating sites, for the first time. I think it is kind of expected on these sites that you will be checking out more than one person. I did, but I was honest as to my intentions. Most dates were one and done. I think it is also expected on these sites that, if you go out with someone a few times - and especially if sex is involved - that you will disable your account. Be careful with this, because if you are intimate with someone who you do not want a relationship with, they will almost certainly check out your account to see if you are still on looking. If this happens, expect some nasty emails/texts/phone calls. That's not an ethical issue unless you are misleading someone, but it is an annoying feature of these sites.
I learned the hard way to avoid giving my phone number until after I had met them. Email will work just fine, and those sites typically have their own internal email system. If you use yours, make sure it doesn't ID you. I have more crazy ass women stories than I care to relate. Harm no one. Be honest. Have fun. Wear protection (well, make him).
Back to dating multiple people: A few years ago, when I wasn't in the relationship mood (incapable actually) I dated a lot of different women at the same time. Juggling them gave me a charge. It was fun. And expensive. But I never lied to any of them or promised any of them anything, so I didn't have to look over my shoulder or avoid phone calls, etc. It was what it was. I never played on their affections or told them I loved them, they were my soul mate (Tiger Woods comes to mind), etc. If you go that route, just be honest. Promise nothing. Avoid relying on them or planning your day/week/month/year around them. And don't tell them you love them just to get them naked. Oh, that's us guys. Sorry.
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