August vacations cancelled

by wandasoo 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  NVR2L8

  Wandasoo

  In our house it's now the other way around. My wife went to visit relatives and accompanied them to the assembly last weekend. I was surprised to hear her say that the assembly she's assigned to attend interfered with our vacation. I know she hates going to these events on her own and she also knows I will go on vacation with or without her. Mind you, it wasn't always like that. With time she realized that I am no longer walking to the beat of anyone's drum, especially not the WT. I will not interfere with her JW activities as long as they don't affect our life together.
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  leaving_quietly

  We have a wedding anniversay in August, I'm sure that will be put in the back burner too

  If you were a guy, I'd ask if you were married to my wife. Same exact mindset over hear, but gender reversal.

  My last anniversary got put on the back burner for a regular ol' mid-week meeting. I was very upset. I, as the head of the household, protested quite a bit, but she, as the REAL head of the household (yeah, nevermind that headship arrangement stuff), decided that the meeting was more important. She has no trouble missing meeting because of a certain time of the month, but has a huge problem missing it for a once-a-year event that is supposed to be important to both of us. Obviously not. I found out right then and there exactly how she felt about the marriage. This became a real sore spot for months.
• 

  out4good3

  Go for it.......

  A llittle bit more about how I went about it.......without divulging too much info........

  I imagine one of the reasons why this was so effective for me was because I am the sole breadwinner in the house.....and, as she so eloquently puts it after eschewing education all her JW life and with little real professional job history she can put on a resume, she doesn't want a pissant job where she is spending all her money getting back and forth to work and taking time away from jehovah........YMMV.

  But, I digress.

  I told him if Jehovah and the bible tell you to pioneer in August then that's what you have to do. His reply, never said one word but had a big smile on his face.

  OMG.......you totally capitulated...gave him everything he wanted to hear......those are the golden words every JW with an unbelieving spouse wants to hear. There will be Artic temperatures in hell and we'll be going our separate ways before my wife ever hear me say something like that.

  That being said, for me I ignored all of her scheduled JW activities and just started scheduling vacation activities. Her first protests were about me just doing this to get in the way of her JW activities.......how she has to put kingdom interests first.....veiled innuendo about me possibly cheating or seeing someone else.......blah....blah....blah......pack your bags...we're going on a guilt trip!!!!! She even pulled out the "get thee behind me Satan scripture or something to that effect before hurriedly backtracking and explaining that she wan't exactly calling me Satan but trying to e xplain to me that she had what she thought was more important things to do. Fine....have it your way.......I wasn't going to be baited into an arguement.

  On the days our trips were to begin, if she wasn't ready to go, I left without her. The first trip I sporadically contacted her. The second trip I was in total incognito.

  Upon my return she was expecting a minite by minute review of how the trips went, what I did on them and where I went.....not because she wanted to hear about any good times I had or the sites I'd seen, but questioning in a way that indicated that she was looking for something I may have did wrong or that I wouldn't have done had she been there........

  You know, questioning in that prosecutorial way JWs do when all they want to do is counter and argument, win a debate, or attempt to claim the high ground in any discussion.

  ......to which my response was, if you were really interested in the trip you would've went with me. I am not going to sit here and account for all the time just so you can look for something in it to pick apart.

  I haven't had a problem with her thinking I'm inclined or will even submit to scheduling vacation and holiday activities around her jw schedule since.
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  wandasoo

  Think I will ask one of my girlfriends if she would like to take a trip with me. Think I need to get away for a week. Last year I did go to Cancun with my daughter and her family. He had no interest in going. To be honest I did have a good time, and was glad to get out of the crazy house and be with normal people for a whole week. I will never ask to go on a trip with him ever again.
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  BluesBrother

  There are so many reasons why this is wrong, wrong . It fles in the face of Wt counsel to husbands , as seen below. This campaign is no more "historic" than all the others. They are just giving out little leaflets saying that the answers to all your problems can be found at the click of a button on your mobile phone! Incidentally, I know of several old dubs who want nothing to do with this campaign - they don't like this direction it is going in.

  Wt 09 5/15 p19

  "If you have additional privileges of service in the congregation, you may at times find it difficult to balance congregation and family responsibilities. Good cooperation among the elders and ministerial servants and effective delegating of responsibilities can help you to free up time for the sister who needs you the most—your wife. Remember, a number of brothers could undoubtedly perform the congregation tasks assigned to you, but you are the only brother united to your wife in wedlock.
  Moreover, you are the head of your wife. The Bible states: “The head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man.” (1 Cor. 11:3) How should you exercise this headship? In a loving way, not by repeatedly quoting the aforementioned verse and demanding respect. The key to exercising headship properly is to imitate Jesus Christ in the way you treat your wife."

  Wt 89 5/15 p12

  In accordance with Biblical requirements, it can be said that ‘shepherding begins at home.’ If an elder neglects his family, he could jeopardize his appointment. Therefore, elders, be considerate and take into account the emotional, spiritual, and other needs of your family.

  Wt 12 10/15 p31

  "Let Your Yes Mean Yes "

  15 Proving true to our dedication vow means that we must also be faithful in other important matters. For example: Are you married? Then continue to honor the precious vow you made to love and cherish your marriage mate. Have you signed a business contract or filled out an application form for theocratic privileges? Then be true to your commitments and to what you have promised.
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  problemaddict

  wandasoo,

  So here are just a couple thoughts. Do with them what you may.

  In your statement about "Jehovah and the bible", try to exchange that for "Governing Body". You see Jehovah nor the bible have named a "historic" month of August. Unless of course each month is historic because it becomes hiistory never to be repeated.

  If you put in Jehovah or scripture, it makes it easy for him to basically say to himself, you are trying to come between him and his God. But if you use the governing body.....its less of a direct attack.

  I'm telling you, with a sentance like that he can get on a circuit assembly program. It HUGE ammunition to have an unbelieving mate say that stuff.

  Go on the trip. Try not to be too upset. I don't know your story, but if you love him, you are in a unique position to be able to reason with him in a way that baptized JW's are not able.