Internet Dating - I feel like I am being love bombed again

by KateWild 17 Replies latest social relationships

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    I am on three or four sites and lots of guys are showing an interest and trying to be genuine. It reminds me of being love bombed by the JWs. I am having so much fun and loving all the attention, I almost got carried away with it all, until I got a PM on JWN.

    I have just been absorbing it all and it dawned on me I am still vulnerable, and possibly not ready to date. I have to get off cloud nine and see the attetion as just fake love bombing. I don't know if I am really ready, but if I don't get out there, buy nice clothes and put effort into getting ready for dates I will never be ready.

    I have some concerns that I will end up with a destructive guy again, he was controlling just like WT. I am struggling to keep the bad memories out of my mind this morning.

    Do I need more time to recover from WT before I move on?

  • zeb
    zeb

    The biggest journey begins with the first step..

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Thanks xx

  • zed is dead
    zed is dead

    Just a thought,

    Learn to love yourself first. If you doubt you are ready, you probably are not.

    zed

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Zed,

    I am confident about myself, just not sure I can spot someone controlling on the first couple of dates. Controlling men hide it well if they're intelligent. Just like the WT, they give one message to the public and another to the members and yet another to elders. It's all about control, and intelligent men introduce control in stages with out it even being noticed.

    Kate xx

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    I wonder if some well considered and unobtrusive questions could uncover a controlling nature?

    https://www.google.com.au/?gws_rd=ssl#q=how+to+spot+a+control+freak

  • disposable hero of hypocrisy
    disposable hero of hypocrisy

    Ditch men, go out with a girl!

  • EdenOne
    EdenOne

    Date me - then we can exit together!

    oh wait, I'm married. Nevermind.... :P

    Eden

  • DJS
    DJS

    Kate,

    "and intelligent men introduce control in stages with out it even being noticed." Really? All intelligent men? Stupid men are never controlling? Or do stupid men simply introduce control all at once? Do intelligence and a controlling nature have any correlation? A lot of studies suggest insecure men try to control others and insecure women (redundant?) are clingy, needy and manipulative. Intelligence may make the typical man more secure and a woman less needy, emotional and manipulative. As for being chameleonesque and hiding what one is really like, men and women both do it. Men, however, are amateurs and women are professionals.

    Come on girl; you are slipping. Next please stereotype good looking men so that we can all learn!!!! HA.

  • nonjwspouse
    nonjwspouse

    Do like my daughter after a highly controlling abusive marriage. refuse to date for several years and seek therapy to find out why you are attracted to control so you can recgonize the signs. She has been focusing on herself. Going out with friends, not dates. getting much more socal at work. Getting a routine for herself like running and other hobbies that don't include anyone but herself, but she meets people though it.

    Take more time before dating Kate. You will be glad you did. The love bombing fuzzys up your common sense mind. Who would not be swayed and blinded by love bombing? Be careful, very careful.

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