Your circumstances seem much like mine were a while ago. My wife gave me hell when I resigned as an elder, "Abrogating your responsibility" , but she mellowed a bit once she talked to the other elders and realised just what they were like..However I am still thought to be mad , because I cannot see the "obvious truth". Hang on in there Leander, it does get easier.
My experience has been that elders dont really want to know. Since they cannot answer the questions they leave me alone and it is up to me to chase them , because I cannot stand this vacuum!
Take care, and share your progress with us.