by James Jackson 16 Replies latest jw friends
The thing is ... Once you see the real truth about the organization, it is hard to see them as anything else but a corrupt, false religion.
Like they sat, you can't unring a bell.
And even though you are still going to meetings, think of how much freedom you now than before. They may still have your time right now, but they don't have your mind.
millie210 : I was never exposed much to "colorful" language growing up and so I cant use that as a reason. So what is that all about?
I am wanting to be able to connect better to my "Worldly Customers", so I have found that when I use their same vocabulary, it makes selling alot easier and I get a laugh more often (and more sales).
J.C. : Sounds like you a growing tired and weary.
You bet!!!
Clarity: were there overtones of grieving ?.........
Very astute of you. Your fellow Elders, some you have known for decades, turn on you. You feel all your sacrifices were for nothing and that your opinion no longer carries any weight. "You're just a publishler now".
I sit at the meetings and say things to myself like "You are kidding me, the kid is 10 years old and you still don't know his name"? Or that sister has been coming here for 20 years and you forget her name? Where is the personal interest? Or the Brothers tell you on Sunday that our mid-week meeting has been changed to Monday(tommarrow), because the other congregation is having the CO visit ( they have known for months, but forgot to announce it), then wonder on Monday why meeting attendance is at 50%. Why after all these years, the same Brothers who do the scheduling, many time wait to the last moment to put a schedule causing fustration and problems for the rank and file. Just a few of the things that get me down.
JJ those frustrations remind me of my frustrations after I received Facilitator training. LOL. My annoyance with sloppy method detracts from anything I might get out of the session.
I send out twitter comments in meetings. All the good stuff; no use bringing presenters down.
Reading your post, James Jackson, reminded me of my favorite song by The Carpenters. The opening line says, "We've only just begun...to live. White lace and promises; a kiss for luck and we're on our way." I spent more than thirty years as a Witness and rediscovered real life after I got out. It would seem you have already made your decision to fade and that is a good thing.
I want to echo a point Magnum made. You've got more years behind you than you have ahead of you. Use them wisely and well for they will run out all too quickly. In his book Walden, Thoreau made the striking observation that one of the reasons he went to the woods was to live deliberately so that when his time to die finally came, he would not discover that he had not lived. I know you have dear friends still in the organization and their love and friendship is important and valuable. But what kind of friends can they really be if they would shun you because you made the decision to go your own way? That is not unconditional love and you are much better without it in my opinion. But each of us must make his or her own decision in that regard. In any case, I wish you and your dear wife every happiness. You deserve better than being trapped in this life-draining cult. Get out of it as soon as you can.
Quendi
I sit at the meetings and say things to myself like "You are kidding me, the kid is 10 years old and you still don't know his name"? Or that sister has been coming here for 20 years and you forget her name? Where is the personal interest? Or the Brothers tell you on Sunday that our mid-week meeting has been changed to Monday(tommarrow), because the other congregation is having the CO visit ( they have known for months, but forgot to announce it), then wonder on Monday why meeting attendance is at 50%. Why after all these years, the same Brothers who do the scheduling, many time wait to the last moment to put a schedule causing fustration and problems for the rank and file. Just a few of the things that get me down.
It sounds like you are one of the good ones James. More and more of your type of elder are being replaced by company men. Men who are just carrying out the position and who dont have their heart in the game. Sad really.
My experience with elders like you enriched my life at the time. My experience with the "new" kind of elder has ended my allegiance to this earthly organization.
Its not at all lke a "chariot moving forward at a fast pace or any kind of "light" growing brighter. Instead it is much more like a behemoth (just to keep the Watchtower theme going) trampling all that it is supposed to tend.
Hi James Jackson, I wish learning TTATT was more enjoyable and easier for you, but it is better than slaving for the WTBTS.
What kind of hobbies do you like that you and your wife would enjoy doing besides playing Fantasy Football and Beer Pong?
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
We love the Water, Camping and Gardening.
I will tell you another thing that has changed about us is that we tell each other that "charity starts at home". We have reach out to several "Worldy Kids" in our community and have given them opportunities to work and make a decent wage that does not exist at home. The joy of seeing their faces when they get cash to put in their pockets is priceless.
