The people i least get along with are EX- J.Ws

by new hope and happiness 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  new hope and happiness

  I am not talking about posters here on this board ( Otherwise i wouldn't be here would i) but in general.

  Si i am talking those ex J.Ws in my community and we just dont get on. Well ok its a bit of an exaggeration to say i don't get on with them, we just dont associate. This botherd me at first as i thought we would have much in common, but it wasn't so, and it's just the way it is. Soi i just hang out and associate with people i do get alomg with.

  Anyway as an observation i thought it maybe worth a discussion, and i would be interested in your exsperiences.
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  Wild_Thing

  The best thing about being out of the Borg is the freedom to be friends with who you want, and not being forced into fake friendships just because you have the same religious affiliation. It's nice, isn't it?
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  cantleave

  Ex-JW's with the exception of the shared cult upbringing / experience are as disparate as any other group of people. Some you will love to bits others will piss you off big time.

  We have been lucky in that we have made some super friends from the community. But saying that we have also met some batshit crazy Ex-dubs too.
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  Amelia Ashton

  My exjdub friends are now my family and apart from my children I love them more than any other people on this planet.
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  new hope and happiness

  Ameila...that's a lovely positive post.

  Anyway maybe my observation that " the people i get along least with are Ex- J.Ws" could on reflection, teach me something about myself.

  For example may be i just want to move on and luck empathy, patience or even the interest to discuss the current shenanigans and goings in the current watchtower community.

  I think i need reflect on the above point.
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  Dis-Member

  This seems quite normal and even common to me. I know of whole and entire families whose only connecting bond was that they all had the same parents and were raised in the same families. In time when those parents passed away.. the family members exploded, fragmented, and all went their separate ways deciding that none of them in fact even liked each other or really ever got along or had anything in common. As with blood families, all your associations in the org are not really chosen by you but rather given to you as a result of being in that religion.
  
  Of the people that were my closest friends/associates/peers etc in the org when I was younger I'd say over 40 of them are no longer in 'the truth', either they were disfellowshipped, turned apostate, turned mad or whatever. Am I still friends or even in contact with any of them? Not a single one. Would I like to be? To be honest.. not really.
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  joe134cd

  Actually I have sort of found the same thing. I have asked ones who live in this country if they would like to meet. I've had one tell me he doesn't meet in person and all the others havnt bothered replying. Oh well I tried. But I havnt had any body that had said anything to me that I found offensive.
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  bigmac

  ive been totally out of the cult for more than 30 years now. in that time--ive come across a surprising number of ex-dubs. i certainly never knew them when i was in it...and i have moved address a lot.

  usually its something thats said in conversation that gives a clue. i think there must be many more e'x's who are ashamed or embarrassed about their past involvement--and dont want to reveal anything.

  it should be born in mind why some adults are attracted to the cult in the first place---and when they leave or get kicked out---they are still the same person as before.

  it also interests me how many were on this site back at the beginning. most have long moved on--and no longer post. this site seems to operate like a revolving door--look how many new posters over the last couple of years.
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  LongHairGal

  new hope:

  Not unusual.

  In the JW religion you were thrown together with people you probably would never have had occasion to rub shoulders with. Now that you are out, you no longer have that one thing in common that you once had - the religion.

  I came to realize that some ex-JWs have to PROVE how "over it" they are and some even have an attitude of contempt towards others they feel are still partly "influenced", sad to say. I am many years a "fader" but I do not feel the need to prove anything and will admit that after spending two decades in the religion it is likely to have made an impression that will show once in a while. As enough time goes by this will be less and less.

  Leaving the religion is a process and everybody is different.
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  Phizzy

  I have only met a few XJW's, most seem O.K, some like Nugget and Cantleave are very special people, one or two I did not warm to, one especially I recognised as the "Nazi Elder" type, and though he was now out, he retained the same air.

  I find I spend my time now with friends who have never been JW's, some do not even know I was one, the more likely it is that JW's will not come up in conversation the better it is as far as I am concerned.