Yes all your points are so intenrsting. But for me who has found frienship, but mot with ex- witnesses, i find it odd. I mean we have shown we have much in common,often people not afraid to live by moral standards, and change....in the maybe its "opposits that attract. " anyway i think it nice in my social life i no longer need that religiouse bonding.
The people i least get along with are EX- J.Ws
by new hope and happiness 21 Replies latest jw friends
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GrreatTeacher
Funny, a few years ago in college I sat in a class of about 2 dozen people. The further along in the semester we got, the more I thought that 2 specific individuals had JW characteristics. To say what they were, I couldn't tell you, but they felt very JWish. Finally it comes out that they were indeed XJWs. Funny, but everyone was concerned with the others'statuses. It turned out one was disfellowshipped and wanted to be reinstated and the other was a fader who had found a new Christian religion.
One day, they ended up dressing me down because I had no interest in another religion! I was cornered after class and had to make it clear, in a friendly way, that I wasn't interested in continuing that discussion. They clearly hadn't yet learned about healthy boundaries!
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Wasanelder Once
The only exjw's I know are on here, except DF'd people and I dont even know where they are. Most were into drugs and other things that dont interest me anyway. I am fine with being friends with whomever deserves it. You know, not negative, controlling or a Bible thumper.
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
Loving every other exJW isn't a mandatory requirement to be an exJW.
That was one of the things I hated about being a JW. It was a requirement that you had to love, even be willing to die for every a$sh*ole of a brother. It was even worse in bethel.
Other than that, there are plenty of exJWs in my life and on the forum here to address that aspect of my life. But I don't feel the need for it to be the only aspect of my life, or force myself to have a close relationship with exJWs I just don't click with. It causes me particular pain when I see someone make the smart move to leave the JWs, but then go on to make a lot of terrible choices in their lives. The more I move on with my life, the more I feel like this is an important abuse recovery network. Consequently, I don't want to immerse myself in the exJW world because it will always remind me of the pain, deception, and wasted years.
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new hope and happiness
Billy: - i wish i could express my feelings, the way you express my feelings. But as its my thread and i can' t express myself as well as Billy, i hope these words will do:-
Life is a tricky trip
And we dont have a map,
But every path we take
away from the watchtower track
Is never a Cul-de-sac.
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Crazyguy
The ones still in are mostly head cases, why would you want to hang out mental people.
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new hope and happiness
Crazyguy, in my case i have found that a good percentage of " those still in" are good people. I think many witnesses still maintain their goodness. Maybe i am lucky? Anyway i have experienced the shunning, but its a minority and most in my ex-congregation are better than that. In my case i simply stopped attending so i guess i am shunning material anyway? But i am working on it.
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Twitch
Well said Billy
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Band on the Run
The fanaticism here bothers me. Some members are obsessed with the WT. I just reflect on when I last attended a KH (more than 40 years ago)and realize I did not instantly become the person I am today when I left the Witnesses. Also, it is very consuming.
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LisaRose
As a JW, you believed the same as every other JW, getting along was (relatively) easy. Ex JWs, on the other hand, believe different things, your former beliefs are not enough in their own right to be a basis for friendship. It's great if it happens, but there is no guarantee.
I think you are better off just making friends with other people, them come here to discuss your JW experience. There are a lot of great people out there who have never been JWs, but I bet most of them have gone through problems in their life, try to connect with them on that basis, or just look for people that have interests similar to you.
You JW experience should only be a part of what you are. If that is not the case, work towards that goal.