A = But Mom, I don't want another Bible Stories book, I threw it away because the pictures scare me
B = No, we don't charge for the books, it's just that you must donate to the world wide book when you get them, then you ask for a donation again from the householder and we get that too. It makes sense if you don't think about it too much.
C = Don't worry about looking so scruffy, we understand that you were a worldly person and under Satan's control. We will have you looking just like us in no time.
D = Brother, I have to council you on your shoes, they are far too stylish for a Jehovah's Witness, it makes you look worldly and materialistic. Why don't you get shoes at Wal-Mart like everyone else?
E = You look like such a dork in that suit, so I took a picture and posted it on Facebook, by tomorrow everyone at school will have seen it.
F = Thank goodness that torture is over and I can get the hell out of here.
G = you don't look well, why is your face so pale?
H =my Angina is acting up, so I wanted to stay home, but my idiot husband made me come anyway.
I = In the new system we will pet lions, just like this. Do you like petting things? I do, I like it a lot. I like getting petted too. A lot. A whole lot.
J = You can see from this illustration of people petting lions that it would be a mistake to go to college, because Armageddon is right around the corner.
K= My husband beat me up last night, but the brothers said it was my fault, because I wasnt submissive. So I got a gun, just wait until the next time he smacks me. Weaker vessel my a$$.
...OUTLAW