Playing the dating Game..............how do you play?

KateWild

Everyone knows I have been playing this dating game, and what a fun game it has been. I have met a few nice guys but remained strictly platonic, and also met some really pushy guys too that just wanted sex.

I have not met Mr Right yet, but who knows what the platonic guys could evolve into.

It's all a game and anyone who says they don't play games when dating is lying. Does a man always have to make the first move?

Well I like this part of the game, if he want's to meet me he needs to ask first, but then I sometimes make the first move taking it to a proper phone conversation before we meet. I will give him time and see if he suggests it. I like a confident methodical man.

I have had a few coffee dates, plenty of messages, and phone conversations. It's fun, I have even met up with a couple of guys more than once but things didn't work out. No one has got as far as taking me out for a meal yet, do guys even do that anymore?

If you're a guy or a girl, what do you think?????????

Does a man always have to make the first move?

Kate xx

TableForOne

I don't think a man has to make the first move at all.

If you want him to, let him. (But at least drop enough hints that he's not wasting his time, or going to get shot down)

If you want to make the first move, go for it.

Just be yourself and do what feels natural and right for you.

There's no point waiting for someone else to make the first move every time.

Life's too short.

(Maybe I have no right to answer on this thread, given it's title. I'm not playing the dating game as I'm too happy being single. Hence my name, Table for ONE! Happy days.)

TF1

KateWild

Lots of men don't like pushy women though, I am not keen on the quiet types. I like confident men. The fact I am on dating sites means I am going to say yes to a date, especially if I have responded to his message. Endless messaging goes nowhere. If they are there to meet someone they need to ask for a date, IMO.

Anyone else, do you think??????????

Does a man always have to make the first move?

Kate xx

Dis-Member

I'm not so sure waiting for a man to make the first move is such a great idea. I have met many women (even in the hall) who have told me that they are in love with some guy or brother and have been for years and years!

"Why don't you say something?" I asked..

"Oh noooo I'm waiting for him to say something to me!" was very often the reply.

I have seen these situations again and again and many have gone for years. Only to end with said man being snatched by some other woman who was smart enough and bold enough to express herself and make her feelings known.

It's really quite simple. If you want something.. go get it. If you like someone.. go get them. Or forever hold your peace.. or aching heart as the case may often be.

EmptyInside

I don't think asking a man out on a date is being pushy. If he says no,then don't pursue it further.

I agree it's nice when the man makes the first move,but some men need more encouragement.

But,you sound like you are doing the right thing. It helps to take things slow and start as friends. Just be safe out there too.

KateWild

DM, I am not talking about something platonic turning romantic after a while, and feelings developing. I am talking about the dating game on dating sites. I just respond to those who show interest and wait for a guy who is messaging me to ask me out.

If he does not ask me the next one will. Lots of guy seem to like the dominatrix approach so it seems.

I don't have enough time to go searching for guys, they are contacting me and asking to meet me and when I respond to them a few more contact me. I am not popular by any means it's just how these sites work. I am getting the hang of it now.

DM, you should try them out. BTW DM, are you meeting up with us in Central London for my bday on the 16th?

Kate xx

KateWild

I agree it's nice when the man makes the first move,but some men need more encouragement.-EI

I feel flattered by all the attention even though 90% is from guys trying to have sex on the first date...lol!!! I may do the asking option soon.

Kate xx

jws

It may sound cliche, but be yourself.

I have a female friend who is going through this too. It sounds so crazy. Obviously there's the pushy guys and guys on the websites that go right to the sex that she rejects. As far as everything else, she's reading article after article as if it's some scientific formula. Who should call first? Should she initiate a text? All these calculated responses. Her last major boyfriend said he needed time and they broke up. She wanted him to come back after his "time". So she's reading all of these articles about how to do that. What should her FB page look like, what types of posts in case he reads them? Should she stay in contact or go silent for a while? If silent, when should the silence be broken? Should she make the first move to contact or wait for him? And what should be her reason for contacting? So it's all calculated and planned. It's SO inorganic!

Man! What a hassle! Is it really worth it? The "game" seems so stupid. Probably why I'm in no hurry to start looking myself right now.

In the end, you hit it off with the person or you don't. If you're looking for long-term, he has to like the real you and you have to like the real him. Instead of games, why not start off being you so you can honestly appraise each other and decide if you want to go further?

If your gut tells you that you want to initiate, that's who you are. That's the way you behave. If he doesn't like that, that means he doesn't like a part of your personality. Move on.

Dis-Member

Do you yourself not ask guys out on the site if you see someone you like?

I PM'ed you to send me the time and location but there's a good possibilty yes

KateWild

In the end, you hit it off with the person or you don't. If you're looking for long-term, he has to like the real you and you have to like the real him. Instead of games, why not start off being you so you can honestly appraise each other and decide if you want to go further?-JWs

I am an open person, I go as KateWild on dating sites too, so after I meet a person I am open with them. The way I play the game is that once I have been asked out I contact them when I feel like it. If I don't get a response I know he doesn't want a second date. If I have a promise for a second date but no firm plans I initiate contact to get firm plans and stay in touch, I always get responses, they have always wanted the second date.

I play the game in an open way, I find guys like that. But I still haven't found MR Right yet, I am on a promise for a second date with one guy though. He seems nice the first date was fun.

Kate xx

Playing the dating Game..............how do you play?

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