My wife sees the lack of love and.. Any suggestions on how to proceed? (page 3)

BU2B

Dis-Member- You are correct that simple logic should tell her this, however as we know, they are operating on emotion. She is a victim of their mind control techniques. The trick is to help the real her see through the cult her.

disposable hero of hypocrisy

This has been a great thread, and very pertinent to my own situation.

Much of it is the same, but in our situation my wife DOES have a small group of genuinely nice friends, which seems to balance out the non loving judgementaltards.

Still, a lot of the advice here applies, best of luck bu2b, to both of us...

oops, we're not supposed to say 'luck' are we!? F#@&.

Band on the Run

Lack of love was the very first thing I noticed. The whole family were Witnesses. I'd go runnng into to play and show off my doll. They were in tears about some incident in the KH.

cultBgone

Sir82, you are so right-on about doctrine vs. lack of love. Appealing to the emotions is the best first step. The doctrinal craziness will just be a reinforcement of omg-howcrazywasitobelievethisstuffforsolong!

BU2B, so happy that she's now starting to wake up. You are right to take it slow. Just nurture her progress O U T of the cult. HUGS to you both!

Giordano

I posted this on another thread; http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/21/us/some-mormons-search-the-web-and-find-doubt.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

It's about the Mormon's waking up to their past history. It's one of those things that the Society doesn't want happening to the JW's.

See if it's a 'neutral' way to have a discussion about how the INTERNET is changing some of the dynamics when it comes to religion.

Sounds like your doing a good job not attacking your wife's beliefs and helping her to work through it.

Good advice on here from everyone!

Vidiot

Everybody who becomes disillusioned with the JW religion does so for different reasons, but "lack of love" is, I think, definately one of the top five.

LongHairGal

BU2B:

Well, I don't know what to tell you about how to proceed - but I know what you mean about her being approached only when they want something related to congregation business - field service report, etc.

Well...how about if they want some favor. Yeah, that one really got me. The only time I (a single woman) was ever noticed was if they wanted something OR had some criticism or "counsel". Of course, these users never got any favors from me - which gave them another reason to dislike me.

Your wife is a married woman and they are guarded in their attempts to approach her. However, if she were single she would experience what I experienced.

By the way - of course there's no love there. I'm glad most agree with me on that point.... I don't miss any of it.

LisaRose

It's great you are getting counseling. I would add to what others had said, that counseling is usually expensive, prepare to do the hard work necessary to get the most out of your sessions. Plan out some time during the week to think about what was discussed at the last session, jot down any thoughts that might occur to you. If certain topics make you uncomfortable, think about why that is, be prepared to allow those thoughts, even if they do make you uncomfortable. No matter how bad the abuse, it is possible to come to terms with it and move on, don't get stuck in victim mode.

I always recommend journaling, just sit every day and write down what ever pops into your head. Sometimes you will start to see a pattern. I find meditation helpful, your therapist can help you with that.

RagingBull

There's not much you need to do. It seems she's becoming aware of some flaws...thus, in her own way, in due time...she may start learning TTATT.

Until then, I have a saying... "Sit back, and watch the pistol smoke." :)

KateWild

DHOH,

Very funny comment....I hope you can progress your situation. Kate xx

My wife sees the lack of love and.. Any suggestions on how to proceed?

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