I think it is hard when you have grown up as I did (Catholic church) and then find out that much of it is based not on the Bible but on church tradition, you reject that, then you read the bible, become a Witness, stay in it for a long time and then realize that there are a lot of holes in it? Dagney, not to try to reject the experience you had in a Catholic church, but when I grew up in that tradition and saw all the hyprocrisy and lies inherent in that religion, then I could never go to that church again and feel good. I understand that you like the tradition and formality of a celebration like Xmas eve from time to time, but I think that this MAY be a form of conditioning from the world around us that makes us think we are missing something if we don't take part in these things.
Now I am worn out from being a JW and think I need a rest. Probably won't get one though as I am still in there due to family and other commitments. I spoke in a general way to my wife tonight about the way our personalities are stifled in a sense because of the duties of being a JW and how now that I have relinquished some responsibilties then maybe I can access my real personality again. Something we all want to do probably, as current JWs who are having doubts or for ex-JWs trying to find their way.