Some of you might remember my first post on here about my dilemma of whether or not to remain in a relationship with my JW girlfriend after learning TTATT http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/278710/1/Im-new-and-need-help#.U-kltPldVyQ
While we were taking a break, well it turned out to be not very much of a break because of our still strong feeling for each other (we eventually went from talking every few weeks to once a week and then to everyday again) and things started to get complicated
Well last night we officially decided that it would be best for the both of us to at least part ways for now and end things. I knew this day was coming but I was never really prepared for it.
I have never been so torn about something in my entire life as I have for these past few months. On the one hand I have this girl that I love whom I deeply respect and care for who is amazing and incredibly supportive who was willing to stick by my side(even when I slowed down spiritually and stopped field service all together) and always made me feel appreciated and wanted, I tried to rationalize a million differnt times of somehow trying to make everything work to be with her. But on the other hand I know 100% that the JW religon is false and religon itself is false and a way of mind control for the masses and that the journey I am on for wealth, personal development and real spiritual enlightenment has no room for religon in it.
Ultimately I want to do what is fair for the both of us because even though I know TTATT I would never try to push it on her and respect her wish to remain a JW and I know she would never be able to emotionally and mentally handle the shunning that would be involved in leaving the organization.
Although im mostly free now from this religion and I have goals and dreams that excite me, letting her go makes me litterly feel sick to my stomach. All I keep replaying in my mind is her last words to me as she was tearing up:"Goodbye Batman"(my nickname)
In the end we want each other to be truly happy and she told me that even if I decide to leave the organization that she'll still support me and I told her if she found a great JW hushand that was a good "spiritual head" I would support her as well
For me now its all about figuring out the next chapter in my life and direction I want to take it now that im out of religion. Im fortunate that my parents also know TTATT and are free as well and we can support each other as well.
Thanks for reading this any support/advice will be be appreciated