Dissociated family excluded from funeral services

Pardus

Apparently, disassociated relatives are not allowed to be in the procession lines at Kingdom Hall services. They can attend but they cannot be with their relatives to receive condolenses. This happened recently to someone whose aunt had passed away. She was told by an elder that "it was not appropriate." He had consulted with the society and they said that anyone dissaciated should not be in the line because it could make some people uncomfortable.

Doesn't this strike you as another silly, trivial, and unnecessary extension of the shunning policy? Yes, this woman could have ignored the elder and joined her family, but she was so offended that she ended up leaving. How sad. Has anyone had similar experiences?

DakotaRed

It strikes me as just another example of their excusing their rudeness and distain for any who dare leave the ranks. Imagine, they actually think it is loving to slight someone after the loss of a loved one.

What total jerks they can be!

nicolaou

Apparently, disassociated relatives are not allowed

to be in the procession lines at Kingdom Hall servicesI'm not prone to using bad language - I usually see it as a poor way to promote a weak argument but . . . . . . . "What a fucking great cartload of horse shit!"

If you are DF'd or DA'd then you live by your own rules!! You are a JW no longer!

If a mormon elder 'forbade' you from drinking coffee would you take him seriously? Fuck no!!!!
If a JW elder 'forbids' you from '[being] in the procession lines at Kingdom Hall services' saying that you 'can attend but cannot be with [your] relatives to receive condolenses' how will you react?

Of course you need to show discretion and compassion at a funeral and it may be the wise thing not to make a fuss and cause even more upset at such a sensitive time but c'mon!!!!

If someone close to you dies, someone you love, maybe your mother, brother, cousin or grandfather, what would YOU do?

It may be their Kingdom Hall but the deceased is YOUR family!

Fucking watchtower bastards! Fuck, fuck, fuck.......................................

pissed off

nic'

nowaytess

This is from the same people who would not even tell me my mother died?

Are you kidding,

My family never was JWS. Wehn I Da myself, the elder tiold me if I did not move out, they were going to Df my roomate. Never mind I treated her well etc.

Since I was trying to get reinstated a few eeks after I left they elders knew where I lived. I forgot to give my relitives my new address and phone information.

Well mom died and called my old roomates house. It was less than a month after I moved out.

As you have it she called the PO and he never contacted me. I had to find out from my x-boyfriend's job. The State Police of Vermont had to track me down at the request of my family.

Well after I came home from teh funderal then the Po and Do showed up at my door. 10 days after my mom' s death he said he was sorry. All they wanted to know is how much I know if I was going to talk. I was involved in a local beating case which made statewide headlines.

morrisamb

Nicolaou, I hear your pain!

My mother is a Witness and we four children (30s,40s) are all either disassociate or disfellowshipped. We all respect our mother's beliefs but I had this great weight on my shoulders being the child who would handle the funeral arrangements. I horriblized for years this scenario:

An Elder gives the funeral talk, the Witnesses show up and no one ackowledges any of us children.

I'd even have dreams about this. One day I woke up in more ways than one and I said to my mother. The hell with that, there ain't no way we are going to bury you and have the double devestation of being ostracized at your funeral. We'll have enough grief as it is. AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID, "You're right. Just have a quiet funeral service. I know Jehovah knows what's in my heart."
I said, "No Mother I will invite the certain Witnesses who came to see you (she has a chronic illness) and a sister can go up and read some scriptures. But no Elder."
She agreed to this too.
It is just mind boggling that my siblings and I have had to even think of these things. But I have felt better since we discussed and agreed on this plan of action.

Dawn

This is correct.

My father (an elder) passed away in October. I went with my mother to give him a last goodby at the funeral a few hours after he passed, picked out the casket, went to the flower shop and ordered the flowers, had the memorial pamplets printed up, basically did most of the arrangements myself because my brothers (all elders) lived out of town and mom was too distraught (understandably).

However - I was shunned at the funeral services.

Here's the funny little twist - there was a "get together" of types at my mother's house afterwards - you know, to encourage each other. My mom insisted that I come, and pretty much insisted that everyone talk to me (tee hee). Of course, all but two complied with her - being that my mother was so depressed, and they all loved my dad so much - he was one of those elders everyone went to for advice and everyone wanted on their committee meetings.

plmkrzy

This happened recently to someone whose aunt had passed away. She was told by an elder that "it was not appropriate." He had consulted with the society and they said that anyone dissaciated should not be in the line because it could make some people uncomfortable.

I don't believe it, not in the US anyway. I hear that things are different in different countries but I would think they would be better.
I've been to dozens of funerrals and never saw that happen. Not even to someone who was disfellowshiped.

I would write to the WTS and inquire about it and mention exactly what congergation it happened at and see what kind of reply I got.

Funerrals have absolutely nothing to do with socializing or parting together. It is a funerral.
I've attended many funerrals where it was the only time I saw someone who was disfellowshiped who otherwise stopped attending the meetings.
Thats pretty much the norm from my expierences.

Life sucks...get a helmet

[email protected]

Golden Girl

Well my JW Father in law passed away 4 years ago.I have been disassociated for a long time. They go to a different K.H. Way in the country.
I attended the memorial talk they had for his funeral at their local KH.
They are aware that I am not a JW any longer. I had no problems at all in their K.H. I sat in the front row with my JW Mother in law and my inactive husband. People came up and talked with us.

I only had one that shunned me, but his wife had no problem talking to me!:) They were from the KH I used to attend. That couple was also the ones that took hubby and I out to drink for the first time and I got totally drunk! Now thats a strange story!:) Wonder if the other "Brothers" ever knew about that?

We also had a get together at my Mom in laws house after the memorial talk(He was cremated)for my Father in law..We all sat at the same table and they said a prayer. No one was sad because they all said they would see him "Real soon!".

Well my Mom in law still carries around the box of his ashes in her car. They joke about how he goes everywhere with her. Course I don't think THAT's a JW teaching..

I am always amazed by all the different stories about JW beliefs. The more I talk to XJW's, the more I can see how inconsistant they are in their teachings.It seems like each region has it's own way of believing certain things.

Oh Well! Glad to be out!

GG
ps..I forgot to mention their was a "Brother" on the front porch smoking a cigarette!When I inquired about him..thinking he was someones study..I was told he was "Brother so and so..he is working on quitting smoking! How's that for a lenient congregation?:LOL

endoftheline

A little background: I was an only child, as was my cousin when he took his own life (we were considered as brothers - we were very close).
I crossed the country to be there - and was asked to leave at various times (like when they prayed together, ate, condemned what he did, etc.). Very difficult for my wife to comprehend as I pointed out to her everyone that I had grown up with, and how we watched them look at me, display their acknowledgment w/their eyes, and turn away. They relented at the funeral (which was not at a KH) and I sat with his mother.
The next year, when my grandfather died my mother called and after informing me how he passed hinted that I should send something nice - since I probably won't be coming. When I told her I was sending my grandmother flowers, she felt relieved - not at my offer, but that she would not have to work around me being there.
What I will say, is that it did make me think about how I and my immediate family views unconditional love (esp. w/your family), and how the WTS yaks about it, but would not know what it was if it "ran over them with a truck".

rmayer32

What a bunch of insensitive ego driven PRICKS

-Rick
"Keeping an eye on the Watchtower deviants"

Dissociated family excluded from funeral services

Share this