by outforever 19 Replies latest jw friends
outforever, I like your peaceful attitude about it but still find the whole shunning thing ridiculous.
bigmac, it sounds like you (sadly) are related to extreme shunners.
Yes, like most hard to explain beliefs, people practice shunning in degrees. Everything from "keep it on the down low" to "you are dead to me" with lots of in between.
I think shunning has caused more damage than the blood issue.
bigmac, it sounds like you (sadly) are related to extreme shunners
selective shunners: if you combine a born in cult personality with a bitter divorce you get a recipe for disaster.
Shunning is a form of "moral" and "religious" discrimination and is unloving. Jesus never taught or practiced such a thing. Period. There are impostors in our midst.
John Chapter 8 speaks of an adulterous woman that the Scribes and Pharisees shunned and condemned to death by stoning. Yet, Jesus did not shun or condemn her.
The man condemned to death on the torture stake at Luke 23:43 was not shunned and condemned by Jesus, but promised paradise.
Even those who persecuted him and took his life, Jesus did not shun and condemn, he asked that they be forgiven.
Imagine if Jesus walked among us today having this "shunning" mentality so many have; many would not be attracted to him and his teachings.
Anyone or any organization who practices this and claims to be a disciple of Christ should think again.
Yet, none say that they are disciples of Christ do they? They say take titles such as Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Catholics, Seventh Day Adventist, Methodist, and even Christians, etc ... none of these Christ told his followers to be known as.
He told his followers to be known simple as his Disciples. Nothing more and nothing less.
So the practice of shunning comes from those who take upon themselves names and titles Christ did not give them, but names and titles the world gave them.
True disciples of Christ would know that shunning is unloving and something their Master never taught or commanded.
So who are you impostors who teach shunning as a teaching of Christ?
I was excluded from a wedding last year. My cousins son got married (a cousin who was as close as a brother when we were growing up) and JW relatives from all over the country were invited, but I wasn't. I live 10 minutes from the KH! Their excuse was they had a small venue and had to keep the guest list short, yeah right. This was the first real family shunning I had, but I also dont think I could have stepped inside a KH. And if they would have passed out instructions about not wearing slacks, well that would have excluded me anyway. I have not had a dress or skirt in over 20 years. Geez, what a cult! outforever If nothing else, that was good advertising to all who got invites and are not JWs what a controlling cult they are., right down to what you can and cannot wear. And as in your case, I think it was the bride's doing, her father is an uber elder, so of course, no inactive family members allowed. Look at it this way, you saved on a gift.
It's just a little taste of what the 'new system' and paradise will be with all that JW love hanging in the air.
Only then it will be invites only to those who have achieved much closer perfection.
Perhaps it was a parody. Someone posted how evil it was for a man to tip his hat to a woman. He is elevating her above him. I just thought it was a nice social custom. The standard should be what is pagan now. I became very angry.
When my father acted out, which was often, "you're wearing the pants" was the biggest insult. May some man explain to me why men want ugly wives. My mom wore makeup, bangs (extreme violence re: bangs, the mark of the whore), nice outfits. After the marriage, it was plain Jane. I've noticed the same with other couples.
My remaining JW relatives won't say "boo" to me. Yes, it is nice to not have the strain but it also feels goods to have a choice. My sister invited all the relatives to her wedding. I don't believe we are supposed to have the address of some. The JW relatives behaved better than the worldly ones. My aunt and cousin sneaked in to the church to see her in her gown. They just stayed at the back. His family is Arabic so the differences must have been sharp.
My Arabic brother-in-law does not want me at family functions. His relatives ask for me. They lie and say I am not interested. Christmas and Easter are difficult. I don't even make it to church b/c the rejection is so keen. It has been many years since I saw the inside of their home. A few tears were sliding down my face during the Christmas Eve service. I did not want to appear pathetic. The priest said I could relax in my own home and not have my religion and politcal party attacked in a crass manner. She was right. I would like a choice, however. Other people were saying "Merry Christmas." I noticed that a majority of them were terrified of what was going to happen at the family dinner. I do not want to be yelled out. Neighbors believe she is abused.
These threads always make me feel terrible. Some of my family didn't get invites to my wedding, and they were never even baptized. I was so self righteous, I always said "they might as well be df'd because they were raised in the truth and left." To be fair, even without the cult I wouldn't be likely to be close with them as our personalities always clashed, but that's no excuse to have hurt them the way I did.
The worst part is that since I haven't talked to them in years, and don't know where they are with TTATT, I can't really even appologize to them. The only way I have of getting in contact with them would be through other family members who are in the cult, and that'd certainly raise some eyebrows.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, and to the others who have posted on here as well, esp. BigMac! That is just mean spirited and un-Christ-like!
I would personally never speak to a JW, whether relative or not, who shunned me, didn't invite me to weddings, funerals, family get-togethers, etc. Just because THEY have a later change of heart and decide I am 'OK', I am not going to forgive them or associate with them. They made their bed, now let them lie in it!! Maybe my attitude is unfair, but that's the way I see it. Once they choose to shun me, it's goodbye forever from my perspective. Family included! Screw them and their silly religion!!
May some man explain to me why men want ugly wives.....BandOnThe Run
I`ve had it explained to me a few times,by men who wanted just that..
"Nobody Chases Your Woman"
In a Nutshell it`s called Insecurity..
.........................................................
...OUTLAW
