by minimus 22 Replies latest jw friends
I can honestly say that after age 9 or 10, I totally made peace with not living forever... ever. At no time in my teenage years or adult life have I ever thought otherwise. And why would I? I grew into a person that refuses to take any aspect of life for granted.
When you're a child knowing you're not going to play with the lions and eat fresh fruit from the trees... well, you learn to be appreciative of time.
Of course I believed it; I'm sure the vast majority of JWs utterly and sincerely believe it.
I stopped believing it when I learned via science that we are not any special kind of species, and we are bound to die like the rest of everything around us, from our close cousin species to the Sun and the Universe itself (eventually).
That change took place when I was 28. So, for 28 years of my life I was basically asleep.
"We all have two lives; the second one begins when we learn that we only have one".
I was hopeful that I'd live forever in paradise but I NEVER believed in the 1975 baloney!
I believed that I might survive Armageddon and live on earth.
That "Probably" was a bummer.
When I was a young pioneer, my Circuit Overseer was Mark Lett......yes, the father of Stephen Lett of the GB. It was the early 70's and Mark was convinced Armageddon was near. So was I. He was a great guy and I am convinced he was totally convinced the end was near. I remember his telling me that he felt that before Armageddon there would be a big increase of Pioneers. His thinking was that when tribulation hit we would have nothing left to do but Pioneer. I wholeheartedly agreed. My wife and I were Pioneers and bought in to the whole idea that the end was near.
I would not say we were 75'ers but did feel the end was near...... And so it is 2014. Mark Lett is dead and so is his wife. I am a Senior Citizen and there is no end. No retirement, no end in site and poor health! Who do I blame? The Org would probably say I should blame mysellf!....they are never wrong. Really, I'm just bummed. I am ready to admit when I am wrong......wish the Org felt the same way. I blame myself, and they blame me too!
This is just a screwed up way to live!
JAH would know a stray thought. I always hated meetings and conventions. No one in my entire family believed they would survive Armageddon which is why I cared so much about Armageddon. The world was going to come to an end in the early sixties. The Bay of Pigs, the Cuban Missle Crisis. My mom told me that a Soviet ship was going to run the blockade. I thought that I had hours to live at the most. Mind you, this is not accurate history but what we believed. We used to practice an A bomb landing. I always wondered what type of JW could be so certain they would survive.
I was always worried I wouldn't be found worthy enough.
Of C
Of COURSE I believed!
I would live on earth in about an acre of land, in some (dead) rich person's architecturally designed house. With my now former Bethelite XHusband. For vacations I would ride on the back of the shark from NY to England.
I just felt it would be natural to just keep living, still as an active octogenerian still can not see the end, even with body systems breaking down one by one.
just in denial I guess.
What ? You mean I am not going to live forever ?
No way. I am going to live for ever and ever, in some form, somewhere and you can't stop me.
