one year ago

peaceloveharmony

well a year ago, i ended a five year relationship with a man i thought i'd marry and have babies with. i left for lots of reasons but mainly because i'd lost myself and i wasn't really happy with him.

i moved into my own place and life has been an adventure. i dated a 21 yr old, that was interesting haha. i had some sex with some random guys, not so fun. explored my sexuality (ie. sex/play with girls) very fun. done some traveling, mostly fun. made some new friends, lost some old friends. regained a sense of myself, woohoo! realized that i don't need anyone, i do just fine alone.

and i love living alone! i don't have to get dressed on the weekends if i don't want to. i don't have to pick up after anyone else. i can sleep all day if i feel like it. i never have to tell anyone what time i'll be home. i can eat frozen pizza for dinner for a week straight if i wanna. no one bitches at me if the dishes aren't done or the laundry. i can use all the hot water when i shower.

i've always had this independant streak in me but when i was with the ex, i stifled it. his feelings came before mine, his wants...i allowed him to control me and finally i hit my breaking point. so i'm being selfish right now but i think for me that's what i need to do. i feel really happy and good about myself. i like me again.

i'm still single which is where i need to be. getting into another relationship would just cancel all the reasons i left him in the first place. of course there are a couple of guys that i *like* but i'm not in any hurry for anything to happen. i'll just let life take me on this adventure and see where i end up....it'll be interesting :) my mind is full of ideas of things i want to do and i'm loving it. now i just have to pick something :P

the ex and i got together to hang out a couple of weeks ago. it was weird, he kept talking about the past and i kept talking about all the things i want to do in the future. made me realize i had really made the right choice.

thanks for reading. i know it's kind of jumbled but well that's how my brain is sometimes lol

and as for my next adventure, i'm thinking about a move out of state. never lived more than 30 miles from my hometown. it's time for my grand adventure :P

love
harmony

openminded

Harm, you shoulda went ahead and married that guy and now you would REALLY be happy. Im kidding. You Go Girl! I bet Hawaii is nice. om

bitter mango

hey babe! loved the post, especially the part about living alone, hehe. i do most of those things but i live in a house with 3 people (and a few strays that come and go), so getting away with it just isn't as easy . we'd make good rommies
being single IS fun! i just stumbled home from a 2.5 day bender and it rocked. i got to play with some sexy men and lovely ladies, met some cool people, bumped into some old pals and just had a good time . now, if i had a bf/gf i would have some explaining to do and am i ever glad i don't!

love ya girl!! hope all you dreams and plans come true. glad you are having fun

Gopher

Harmony my friend,

I enjoyed that post! Ahhh.... the joys of living single! I wholeheartedly agree that it is good, especially if one has never experienced those joys before. If a person rushes from relationship to relationship without ever having experienced the joy of knowing oneself and living fully on your own first, then you cheat yourself and your potential partner out of "the real you", if you get what I mean.

I wish you the very best if you move away from our wonderful home state. But it sounds like it'll broaden your horizons! Hurray!

-J.R.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.--Will Rogers, 1879-1935

teenyuck

Congratulations!!

Realizing that you were not happy before your marriage was great. So many people go in with hidden doubts and then end up divorced.

You are also learning how great it is on your own. You don't have to rely on anyone. I loved that feeling...especially afte the JW upbringing. I think that is why I so hate the whole "submissive" thing going on the the dubs-and other religions that promote this.

Anyway, I am happy for you! Any idea where you want to live? I grew up in Chicago, moved to central Ohio, moved to Sacramento, CA, moved to Kentucky (the suburbs of Cincinnati), moved to Kansas (don't do it) and moved back to central Ohio.

I don't mind moving at all. It has been an adventure seeing the country and I am grateful I had the chance to experience so many different states. It really made me more tolerant of people and made preconceived ideas I had about certain states obsolete.

ShaunaC

Good for you Harmony! I may not be single at the moment, but I strangly feel more independent and free than I ever have. Learning about yourself is the greatest gift you can give to not only you but the person you eventually settle down with (if ever you decide).

Hey...ever think of moving here to California?!!

Shauna

notperfectyet

Ahh..that's my little girl!

I'm proud of you.

Have fun, but remember.. I still want Grandchildren

Naeblis

One year ago I was an irresponsible, obnoxious punk with a taste for the drink and an eye for da ladies. Nice to know some things don't change. :) Now if anyone needs me I'll be out drinkin, (with da ladies)

Billygoat

((((Harmony))))

You are one special lady, you know that? Your post is very moving and so very close to home for me. I love having grown during the last several years and am proud for who I am and what I've become. I still have my moments, but all in all, my life is pretty darn good. And it wouldn't be like that if I didn't know myself the way I do. I'm glad to see that you relish in your maturing as well.

Love ya sweetie,
Andi

AjaxMan

AttaGirl!

Feels great to live on your own terms, right?
Yes, it's good that you're taking the time to learn more about yourself and to think independently, though you were quite a rebel and an independent thinker to begin with.

If you like to move, my recommendation is why don't you go visit different places. Visit friends and Stay at friends'homes in other states to see if the place is somewhere you like (the weather, the people, the cost of living, the environment, etc...)

Well, if it's not far for you, how about coming down to Florida for a visit? You know me, joy2bfree, VeniceIT, MrMoe, safe4kids, thinkforoneself and a bunch of others from this board.

Regards and

AjaxMan

one year ago

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