Divorcing my husband of 13 years... (page 4)

LisaRose

You have a point Flying High Now, it might be better to stay, but only she can know if it's right for her and her children, not being there we don't know what she is up against. I was in a similar situation, my daughter had mental health issues as a teen, and I was in a horrible marriage. I made the decision to wait until she got better and was out of the house. I just didn't think the stress of a divorce would be good for her, she was just too unstable. My ex was an idiot and it was really hard to stay, but he wasn't dangerous, so I thought it was best I stick it out. Once my kids were grown I was out of there.

Pterist

1. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

2. open your own bank account

3. Research yous assets, joint ownerahip property etc

4. Research employment prospects or source of income, assistance.m

5. When you get all your ducks lined up,...talk to him about the damage he is doing to the family And you.

6. Implement "tough love"...seek reconciliation, showing care and kindness, but do NOT ENABLE his addictions.

7. Keep your mind active and not consumed with the issue, but know you have plans "A Cooking" ;)

8. learn the serenity prayer, and say it every hour on the hour ....;) when needed

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

In love ;) PT ...been there done that ...

Nathan Natas

Hi 2Pink,

First I am assuming that you are in the USA. If not, pay me no heed.

I scanned the replies you have received so far, and maybe I missed it, but it seems no one has fixed on the fact that you are a stay-at-home mother with special needs children.

Go ahead and get your divorce; you alone know your reasons and your limits. Once you are free of him, he can look to hook-up with those who think you should stay with him. Maybe they need a spin around the dance floor with him. It is bullshit to suggest that what you need is more time to get comfy in HELL. Leave!

After the divorce, you *may* qualify for special government assistance as the caretaker of special needs children. If you do, TAKE IT! You can still continue to improve your resume - and there may well be gov't (local and/or federal) programs to help you with that.

If Mr.2pink fails to meet his support obligations and becomes a dead-beat-dad, he may find incarceration helpful in overcoming his substance dependancies.

I wish you luck; the Watchtower sees too it that their youth are as ill-prepared to deal with the world as possible, because IF they were successful, they might see that they DON'T NEED the Watchtower.

linuxbob

Hmm, I just might divorce my dub wife of 32 years?

Gustv Cintrn

Hi,

Return to State custody the 3 special needs kids, and get back to what really should've concerned you in the first place: Your kid and your husband. Talk to him; get him get him some help and build a good life.

Get your life back on track for Christ's sake!

As much as we all like to bad mouth the WTBT, we're so good at becoming self-fulfilling prophecies once we leave this co called 'cult'!

GC

FlyingHighNow

It's easy for men, who may be making good salaries and never had to raise kids full time, much less raise kids and work fulltime, to say just leave.

Lisa is right, you have to make the right decision for you and the children. Be aware that what can seem like a good decision at the time, can have so many unforseen cibsequences. All I am saying is really, really think this through. Look at what kind of quality of life and environment there will be for you and your children. You'll be choosing a different lifestyle and family culture.

LisaRose

Children are not something you can just give back to the state when they become inconvenient, even if she wanted to, and she has not indicated that is even an option. How obnoxious for anyone would assume she is not capable of caring for them, only she knows what she is capable of and what is best for her and her children. It won't be easy, but how much better it will be for them if they can stay in their current home with their mom.

pearlsister

I am glad that Pterist sugested to go to Al Anon. That is what is giving me some sanity when you live with an alcoholic

I know I will never find any kind of support at the Hall.. and I could never share that I am married to an alcoholic.

I wish you the best.

flipper

2PINK- I wish you the best in whatever decision that you make. WE will be here as a support to you. It's hard to really know and understand what another person is going through personally in a negative marriage climate or situation unless they are going through it personally. Hang in there and protect your children and yourself financially and legally. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

donnye

Do you have to get a lawyer for a divorce? If your husband is reasonable and agrees to not give a lot of money to lawyers...... cut out the middle man - see if you can both agree on who looks after the children. If you are going to share having the children 50/50, then neither of you will have to pay the ex spouse any money. Agree to sell the home at 50/50percent for each of you. Or buy him out of the family home at 50% of the market value. Or he buys you out at 50%. I divorced my husband several years ago, and neither of us paid one penny to a lawyer. I gave him his share in cash for the home, and got his name off the title deeds. I filed for divorce - it cost me nothing because I was too ill to work at the time. He did not contest my application for divorce. It went through in 3 months. I am in the legal profession, and really hate it when people throw money away on lawyers unnecessarily. Please meet up with your husband outside of the family home - go to a coffee shop maybe. Come to an agreement by yourselves about all the important issues, and then lesser ones like who gets what furniture. I hope he is sober when you meet up.

Divorcing my husband of 13 years...

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