We were supposed to treat them as dead! Did you follow this direction?
Did You Ever Communicate With Disfellowshipped Persons?
by minimus 19 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
cha ching
Of course, I lived during the days it was OK to say "HI"... things have changed, and I am now faded...
But, even in these last 10 years, I would say "hi' maybe "how you doing?" (great thing to say, huh?) and smile, be nice...
I thought being mean or cold was the worst thing to do... How could that help someone "see the love" and make them "want" to come back?
If someone had asked me for help, I would have helped them... asked me a question, I would have answered... I would have been a human being... I didn't come across too many DF'd people.
In fact, there was this woman who had 'faded' out of the fold, and had started celebrating Xmas.. She 'should have' been DF'd, as most people would, but then again, she wasn't testifying in a trial (haha) and didn't NEED 2 be. I saw her in line in a grocery store, came up to her, said "Hi, How you doing? so nice to see you!" asked about life, and gave her a hug.
Things are very arbitrary these days. A husband is DF'd cuz he use to be an elder, wife isn't... Someone writes a letter to DA himself, and it isn't "announced" cuz their family is a prominent family in the area. Another person finds out lies the WT has been telling, but they aren't DF'd, cuz the elders can tell they "have a good heart." Ray Franz's wife was never DF'd but could have been for the very same reason that HE was: eating with a DA'd person.
Maybe that is why I am gone, I do not like what the WT is, or makes people become.
-
OneEyedJoe
Never! I wanted to show them love by shunning them so that they would see the error of their ways and come back. In reality, though, I essentially never ran into a df'd person that I knew. I'd like to think that I would've seen how terrible shunning was if I'd ever had a friend df'd, but I suspect I wouldn't have.
-
Pistoff
As much as possible; if I know of any relation to me that is df'd, I reach out.
Some don't want any communication; they are scared stiff that the elders will find out and it will delay their reinstatement.
Elders and rank and file do not understand that being df'd makes some people suicidal.
It is wrong, wrong, wrong to tell family members to shun df'd family.
-
DesirousOfChange
Yes.
I was in close contact with a friend who was (wrongly) DFd.
Since they have been reinstated, I seldom hear from them.
Go wonder.
Doc
-
AlwaysBusy
Yes, I talk to myself all of the time.
-
Terry
I instinctively understood it was bullying to snub somebody who had been excluded from a group.
I had been bullied as a kid in elementary school and my empathy level was much higher than most.
I felt the DF'd person understood I was greeting them for their humanity rather than their shortcomings.
-
eva luna
Of course not, I got my manners from my Catholic Grandmother.
Even at the hall I said hello. Kind of scared one young girl, and her mother glared at me. F- that mother. (long unfair story)
On the other hand, a close relative got the big D and it got back to the elders. So they kept relative out an extra 6 months. Such love, NOT!
Very close friend, like the sister I never had, got it at 16. We didnt change a thing . But were quite about it. Actually we had even more fun. Rebels that we were.
-
ducatijoe
My son got DFed and I did help him, even though I was an Elder at the time. I was concerned about his being able to make it through.
He did get re instated and is doing well. I however have chosen to no longer support this organization for many reasons.
-
blondie
I had grown up in a family where my father was not a jw and we were shunned as being spiritually dangerous. The last thing I wanted to do was shun anyone because someone told me to.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.