How Cancer Gave Me My Life Back

by patio34 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  patio34

  Hi all, This is a bit of a realization that i had in the last two weeks:

  Why having cancer was a watershed in my life.

  Before I had cancer, I was a dutiful dub, doing all that was required. Then, after diagnosis, the treatment for the illness laid me low for many months, then incapacitated me a bit preventing me from going to all the meetings ever since then.

  So, this was the proverbial blessing in disguise, freeing me from the steady indoctrination of the meetings. Although I was diligent to study daily, but didn’t audit the meetings via phone. But being stuck at home, I did a lot more reading of other stuff and watched more TV (news and stuff). Of course, I talked to my sister, Waiting, all the time! Even tho she kept her views mostly under the surface, I knew there was a negativity there.

  All of this, it seemed to me, helped to break the mental shackles the WT had on me. Then, some of the issues that had always bothered me but were “faithfully” ignored, started to blossom again until I reached a “lightbulb moment” one day and decided to really investigate.

  If I had not had cancer, it’s possible that I would still be sitting at the meetings, willingly being indoctrinated in the mind control. So, it really turned out for the best and gave me the rest of my life back.

  How about anyone else, any incidents and lightbulb moments?
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  Matty

  This is really interesting, because in http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=28541&site=3 I've just mentioned a person who has had a totally opposite type of experience. People become religious when faced with death. It's just their way of dealing with it. It's a shame they have to waste what little time they have left 'chasing after the wind'.
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  TR

  Excellent post, Patio. Changing my work schedule did it for me. Glad you're doing well and still with us!

  TR

  UADNA-WA
  Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America- Washington Division
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  patio34

  Hi Matty,

  That does seem to be the usual way. The only reason i think it had the opposite effect on me was that meeting attendance stopped, so the mind-control effect was limited to reading. Maybe that's why they drum in meetings so much to the "faithful."
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  patio34

  Thanks TR! I'm glad as hell i'm here too!
• 

  Mimilly

  Patio34 - so glad you are with us hon.

  My lightbulb moment came during a psychological emergency, while I was in the hospital for what ended up being 3 months. I had only two visits from the elders, and that was to say how great everyone else was doing. (meanwhile, I was dealing with childhood abuse issues, self-mutilation, divorce...) Just before I was released from the hospital, an elder showed up to tell me that from now on I was to rely on THEM, not on the worldly associates that had been caring for me during the past 3mths. (support groups etc) I lost it. I went ballistic. The brutal hypocrisy of saying they love you, and when something happens that they don't understand or care to, they ignore you, THEN have the audacity to TELL you to rely on them? HA! That was my lightbulb moment.

  hugs,
  Mimilly
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  patio34

  That's incredible, Mimilly! The arrogance of those ignorant half-wit fools! I'm glad you had the sense, and support, to think for yourself instead of listening to those charlatans!

  Pat
• 

  BeautifulGarbage

  Patio, so glad that such a positive thing came out of an experience that can be so frightening and overwhelming.

  My life altering experience came when my daughter was diagnosed with Leukemia. That day was horrible to say the least. I'm informed that my only child is probably going to die. To say it was a defining moment is an understatement.

  Up until that time, I lived my life for how everyone else thought it should be. I was very unhappy at my job, and life in general, but was unable to make the changes that needed to be made. I had a very large expensive home and lifestyle that required the income that this particular job brought.

  After that day, I was forced to make changes. I HAD to quit my job, sell my house, sell cars, furniture, etc. And I didn't care about any of it. My perspective on what is important had completely changed. The stuff didn't matter anymore. My focus was on keeping my kid alive and that was all that mattered to me. Stuff can be replaced, my child can't.

  So,here I am ten years later. I live in a small modest home and am I housewife. We did manage to buy a new car last year. Of course, only after I did six months of research on exactly what was the best choice for us. Dinners out are very rare and we eat spagetti(Ragu) at least once a week. At this point in time, I have absolutely no career aspirations. I just want to get my kids raised.

  Know what? I have never been happier.

  Andee
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  hillary_step

  Andee & Patio,

  What beautiful and moving sentiments.

  I once read a statement to the effect that dealing with cancer is the final act of growing up.

  It seems to me you have reached a level of maturity beyond the grasp of many of us.

  Andee, I do hope that your child is well on the road to recovery. They certainly are gifted to have such a loving mother.

  Thank you - HS
• 

  patio34

  Andee, that's such an admirable story of your life. Thanks for telling it. I'm glad you gave up so much in a material way to give your daughter a happier life. Congratulations on the best choice.

  Hillary, Thanks for your affirming statements. I wouldn't wish it on anyone (the illness), but "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

  Pat