Whatever happened has a lesson for us!

by Kalos 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Kalos
    Kalos

    When my Dad left JWs, his stoic remark was: “It was not a total wastage; after all I learned something good about the Witnesses—THEIR RESOLVE to continue with their original claim that they are the appointed channel of God, even when they know in their heart of hearts that they are not. Why can’t I imitate that sort of RESOLVE in doing something worthwhile?” He thus echoed Confucius who said: “To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”

    A poor choice we made, some obstructions or some resistance are almost always viewed with fear and anxiety. Most people start their day praying that the day passes smoothly without any obstruction. However, if handled carefully, both obstructions and unexpected outcomes could turn out to be meaningful; because obstruction is an integral part of life and matter.

    Achievers really thrived on obstructions/resistance on their path. As in life, resistance is common in matter, too. All good conductors of electricity, except exotic superconductors, have resistance. But this does not make these conductors useless. Superconductors do not have resistance because the state is an extraordinarily ordered one. The emergence of order suppresses resistance. However, these superconductors have not given us much goodness in practical terms because they still operate in temperatures which are not meaningful, at least not yet, for society. The philosophy is, however, clear, ordered or organized life could eliminate most resistances on its path. Day has meaning only when there is night.

    From life to death, we face the truth of inequality. The way we are born into varying circumstances and the way we die show no equality! The disposition people develop, too, contribute to inequality or problems—some choose to be passionate about doing good for the sake of good, some choose to be passionate about being greedy, and some choose to be passionate about being sadistic!

    A principle in physics, named after physicist Wolfgang Pauli, states that no two electrons have all quantum numbers equal. That is, in a system of electrons, each electron has a distinct identity. However, identities could be exchanged. This is known as the Pauli exclusion principle.
    The fact is that each one is distinct—that is the way each one has chosen to be, its their choice, their loss or gain. We do well to learn from the experiences—our own or of others. Live knowing the way life flows. Mystery of life is actually the mystery of time. Life is, like time, a continuum (past, present, future exist only in our mind), it’s always in the now. Enjoy the life, like the dancer becoming the dance! (Colossians 3:23-24; 1 Peter 2:15; Psalm 119:10) “Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic!” Leave behind the ghosts of JWs where they belong to!

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Sorry I am afraid I don't grasp your point. Being a JW was a lesson for me, but I could have done without that lesson. Kate xx

  • Kalos
    Kalos

    KateWild

    Don't worry! You will get it later, in a relaxed mind, when you know everything is part of life. When we made the decision to become a JW, we made it consciously. It didn't work. So we left! So simple.

    The whole idea is: play everything that happens in our life in low profile!

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Don't worry! You will get it later-Kalos

    Just because you wrote something down, and you understand it, it doesn't mean it will make sense to everyone that reads it. Your response is condesending, as if you are more experienced and knowledgeable than me. I will never understand what you wrote and you did not write it in way that it makes sense. It has no real point to it.

    Kate xx

  • Kalos
    Kalos

    KateWild

    Never meant to be condescending or anything that sort!

    What I meant: It's like newspaper. It's of great value today, but tomorrow--it's simply trash! So are many of our experiences--including with JWs.

  • Magnum
    Magnum

    Leave behind the ghosts of JWs where they belong to!

    How can one leave behind a ghost that follows him and haunts him every day?

    I have a friend who is my age who is retired and makes more in retirement than my wife and I together make working full-time. I will never retire. I work a very difficult, stressful job that pays very little and offers no opportunity for increased pay or advancement. An unrealistic, unreasonable amount of work is asked of me, so I often work off the clock just to get it done. Every single day I wake up facing what JWdom did to me. I work a job that, due to the nature of it, is always on mind. A fellow worker told me that even on her week-long vacation, she couldn't get it off her mind. That's because we are graded on the results of what goes on even including days we are off.

    My wife knows me and my abilities. She recognizes what JWs did to me, and almost daily she says in disgust that she hates it. She sees my daily struggles to find some other kind of work and she sees my stress.

    I've said something similar to the above several times on this site, and I'm going to keep saying it every time I see a thread like this one.

    “To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”

    I don't "continue to remember" what JWdom did to me; it reminds me every minute of my life.

    The quote only applies to things that can be forgotten. Suppose somebody was rude to you. Yeah, you can forget that. But suppose somebody locked your ankle to a heavy ball and chain that can never be removed. How do you forget that? Every day when you wake up, you realize that you will never be able to venture far, you will be slowed down, you will work much harder than others to achieve the same results, etc.

    When I'm eighty years old bagging groceries when I'd rather be traveling, how do I just forget what JWs did to me?

    Why can’t I imitate that sort of RESOLVE in doing something worthwhile?”

    I have plenty of resolve. Please tell me how that's going to help.

  • SophieG
    SophieG

    Kalo I kinda get what you're saying though you lost me after the first paragraph.

    To me my life is like a story being written as I go along! As the main character I experience things some harsh some sublime. I make choices and the readers watch me navigate through them and watch me grow and learn. Each incident I can chose how I respond to it. I the main character can sit back contemplate how the next sentence, paragraph and chapter plays out.

    So if someone was reading my life story what would they see? What kinda of character am I? I want my story to read as one who faced all kinds of circumstances and made it through and learned and triumphed.

    There is a lesson in everything for everyone on this planet. We can only fully understand our own.

    Somtimes when I think of how my life played out with my former JW life, losing friends being shunned by family it does floor me. But every single day I know I have the choice to not hold on to that and push forward through life. I cannot control what was done to me I can only hold myself responsible for the part I played and resolve to learn from it and not repeat the lesson ever again. When I sit and replay the negatives all I see are the negatives. But when I put a positive mindset behind things I tend to move past it.

    Yes it was hard and there are moments that still bother me but i don't ever want to be defined by the negative things in my life. I don't want to live there. So let me get my lesson pass it and move on. Life is way too short and my desire to be at peace is greater than my desire to let something rule my life.

  • millie210
    millie210

    If that is true then why cant Jehovah "let go" of what Adam and Eve did to him?

    What does Confucius know about successful living that God doesnt?

    I am not being sarcastic - even though the above could be taken that way.

    I seriously would like to know why I am supposed to let go of things that elders have done but God doesnt let go and I pay the price for him not doing so.

    What you wrote is a beautiful "idea" in theory Kalos but I feel frustrated as to just how to execute it.

  • done4good
    done4good

    This is a very good post. To paraphrase it, we learn from all things, good and bad, and those experiences make us who we are. There are rich rewards to be had from such learning experiences that are not always obvious, but allow us to not only become the persons we are, but also allow us to understand others, and life in general, better. The JW experience may have been long and painful, (even after we leave), but there will also be important lessons to be learned from it, that allow us to grow, and help others grow.

    To Kate's point, it is easy to sound elitist when drawing attention to ideas and concepts people may not be ready for. Many on here are still very close to the source of the pain caused by JWs, (shunning, many family issues, possible underemployment issues, etc.), so an OP like the one above may present itself as being somewhat condesending, and even confusing. Some may also not have the personality type that cares for such theoretical and philosphical ideas as the ones you present as well. Keep this in mind when posting here, as it is easy to offend such ones. I have done the same myself here, and now try much harder not to, realizing others closer to the source of that pain need this place more than I do.

    There are some here, (like myself), who are far enough away from the immediate source of that pain, but yet still deal with some special issues caused by the JW expericence. It is why I still visit here after 8 years. A post like the one above, is for this very limited audience.

    Kate, chill out on him/her a bit. This post is meant for those a bit farther away from some of the pain, but yet are still going through long term issues, (maybe for the rest of their lives), related to the JW experience. Try to understand that someday you might just need a post like this.

    d4g

  • Magnum
    Magnum

    done4good, to me, the OP is just a bunch of amateur, goody-goody, armchair pseudo pop-psychology. To say that I should learn a lesson from losing over three decades and my entire future to JWdom insults me. A child can learn a lesson from eating too much candy and getting a stomach ache. What exactly is the lesson I'm supposed to have learned from losing virtually my entire life to an entity like JWdom?

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