by crazyhorse 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I recently learned TTATT and it really sickens me when I sit through the meetings. I am so tired of faking things. I feel like vomiting when annoying things are said from the platform. I feel so tired from pretending. But for now I cant leave because the cost will be too great. My whole family is JW and until I become independent I cant leave.
So for those still stuck inside and have all family members inside, how do you cope? Do you just go along with every crap in the org?
I laugh about it. I have a plan, I can't do anything about it yet, so I just make the most of the situation I'm in. We all move on eventually, I'm determined not to let it ruin me. I'll look back at this time and not regret anything. Hopefully....
1. I totally zone out at the meetings. Having a baby helps with that.
2. I find reasons to not go out in service. Usually we end up out 2 Saturdays a month. I rarely try a door. Usually just time waste calls and break time.
3. I like to people watch at the meetings. I try to figure out if any other friends there are awake yet.
I did see one writer say he has his note pad out and write down every time that Jesus gets a mention.
I do feel sorry for you. It must be hard when your'e whole family are in.
I would just pretend that I am on undercover mission, trying to prove if the Borg is God's organisation, finding out all you can to prove it's not. Make notes but be careful. You are a spy in a hostile environment. I did that once when I lived in a really awful place and I pretended I was a reporter, making a story. I know it sounds a bit weird and childish but it got me through a bad 12 months.
Live in your bubble, don't let anyone hurt you.
1) have a plan.
Having a plan helps you stay focused and turns it from a waste of time into another step in YOUR plan. It gives you a sense of control and power tha helps tremendously in dealing with it all.
2) play games
One of my personal favorites is to twist the songs as they sing. For example, any song that uses the name 'je-ho-vah' i substitute 'dear-o-din'. Any song that uses the word "jesus" (not many to be sure) i substitute "thor". Its silly and small but it amuses me greatly to see people near me double take, thinking they heard something slightly off but they cant quiet place it... Games make the time go by. I also txt from the platform, play games on phone/tablet, surf the web etc etc on the kingdom hall wiFi. Small acts of rebellion, emall amusments to pass time make it enjoyable.
3) learn to embrace the suck
another favorite passtime (and a bit of a game in its own right) is to embrace the suck. When someone makes a kiss a** comment, i one up them. When someone slobbers over a pretentious shmo of a speaker, i slobber more. When someone fawns over a new wt article, i drool over it in excess. Its all sarcasium and mockery but its amazing how many people accept it at face value. Its both sad and fun to see how far i can push it and so few even register the slightest hit that they understand im mocking them.
4) use your time to wake others up
its hard and can be scarry at first, but learn to ask open ended questions designed to spark people and make them think. Pepper them in to comments During the meeting. Have something in mind thats being discussed on the meeting and frame an innocent question designed to give a subtle nudge. You maybe supprised at who will give a subtle nod of knowing or who will privatly admit they see where you going and agree with you. Keep it subtle, always leave yourself wiggle room, and have fun with a subservise attitude. it WILL help some, even if you dont see it right away.
I hear you!
While it doesn't really help you, please be aware that MANY of us are in your exact position!
If there is some feeling of strength to be gained, please remember, that we are all feeling and thinking the same as you each and every meeting that we are forced to be present at!....
Sincere hugs to you!
4) use your time to wake others up
its hard and can be scarry at first, but learn to ask open ended questions designed to spark people and make them think. Pepper them in to comments During the meeting. Have something in mind thats being discussed on the meeting and frame an innocent question designed to give a subtle nudge. You maybe supprised at who will give a subtle nod of knowing or who will privatly admit they see where you going and agree with you. Keep it subtle, always leave yourself wiggle room, and have fun with a subservise attitude. it WILL help some, even if you dont see it right away.
Best use of your time is #4. If you have a rough timeframe in mind of how long you'll be stuck in the bOrg, make it your goal to wake up at least one other person per year/6 months/3 months etc.
And be sure to turn in your time spent at meetings helping others to know TTATT as "field service".
It seems as tho people are using their "tablets" / "phones" at meetings now, right?
Perhaps you have a desire to learn something? a hobby? Can you take a college class, then study for it at the meetings?
That way you will kill two birds with one stone.
People see you at the meeting, but you are accomplishing things, feeling good about the time spent in your life.
I too am stuck and going thru the motions.....I also like to do some game playing:
1. count how many times Jesus is mentioned. ( very sad to say but not many, and when he is he is lowered)
2. try to remember the most stupid comment i hear at the meeting. ( Yesterday one lady said that JW's were the true Christians!!) LOL
I doubt she even know what a christian is......So lost, so lost
3. take a minumum of two breaks with the son's to go out side. once outside i tell them that what they are hearing is all crap. that we are just going to the meetings to appease Mom, there mom and my wife. whom i love more than life it's self.
I wish she would open her eye's, but, none the less....she is not as devout as she thinks she is.
It's a Freaking Cult.....!!!!!!
GTTM
