Be Honest: Were You Ever Jealous When Someone Was Appointed a Pioneer, MS or Elder? (page 4)

All for show

@millie210 - what happens to wives of elders? my husband is not a servant and none of my close friends husbands are either. I was recently at a dinner and a sister I met was saying her husband just got appointed and the other elders wives told her to get ready. So, my question is, get ready for what? Do people complain about elder wives dress? You are expected to never miss a meeting? What is it? Because the servants wives in my area are the only ones allowed to miss meetings/ service because they are the only 'truly' sick ones, the rest of us are fakers, :)

millie210

Hi All for show,

Well lets see...where to begin?

You are held to a higher standard. If your husband is an elder you will be used as an example good or bad.

Here is an example: "Why cant I see that movie sister so-and-so did and SHES an elders wife."

People who dont really like you will befriend you if they think it can get them or their husband a "leg up".

It is very similar (I would imagine) to being a political wife.

Sad isnt it that it would be that way in "the house of God"?

You have to be very discreet and learn to quietly walk away when someone approaches your husband in an agitated state saying "I need to talk to you"!

Same thing when they show up at the door of your house obviously distressed. You may think "there goes dinner" but you dont say it.

You learn to drive your own car to meetings so you are not stranded at the Hall for endless amounts of time with your husband in the library.

You try to understand why someone who formerly seemed fine now glares at you when they see you (how were you supposed to know your husband is their committee when you didnt even know there was one?

Then there are the other elders who decide for whatever reason to do some in fighting amongst themselves....most will not keep it among the elders but will let it affect how they treat the wives and even the children of their fellow elders.

Speaking of children, your children are simultaneously admired/objects of jealousy/ held to a higher standard.

If you have a son and he receives an appointment he better be TWICE as qualified or the rumors of nepotism will flow...

Your children and you yourself will spend endless hours/nights alone while your husband is helping others or attending meetings.

Peoples problems in the truth are severe. Many times your husband will come home super stressed but unable to talk to you about it.

That is just a short list.

I was an elders wife beginning in my 20's.

I didnt get to grow in to it, I married an already existing elder who had been a full time pioneer and appointed elder at 26. He was already an elder for 10 years before we met.

It was the hardest role I ever took on.

XBEHERE

Not jealous but irritated that some ass sucker got appointed. Then again I was appointed an elder at 25 so I guess I was that ass sucker.... not anymore, boy do I regret that.

WTWizard

And have everything I do be a potential stumbling block? Meaning having to do everything to the letter of the rules--no music, no TV, no having anything that might be construed as materialism or celebrating Christmas, and having to set the example in field circus. Plus, all the extra work in addition to field circus, which could pop up just when my regular job was busy or I was not feeling up to it. Much of that stupid--imagine getting a call at 3 in the morning about a teenager masturbating when you have a busy day at work ahead.

aintenoughwiskey

Not so much jelousy as frustration. It's the reason I woke up. I was encouraged by the elders to hop on the "reach out" hamster wheel, meanwhile the bible studies and relative of the elders were on a moving walkway sipping coffee and chatting. In fact studies of elders were baptized and appointed after I got on the wheel. I couldn't get a strait answer as to what was the hold up. I lost it and tore one of the elders a new one, that pretty well sealed my fate. I hung on for a while, and then just faded. No one calls, the few friends I had, recently pulled out the shun gun (that's when my wife said "I'm never going back"). The elders come by once in a while usually during the CO visit. The lack of love, and no indication of holy spirit is glaring. I have children, grand children, and a loving wife to spend time with. No more "kindergarden theology" meetings, wasting my time, and gas driving around on Sat. morning. I'm much less frustrated, much happier. If I was still going I would be on anti-depressants by now. Next time I see one of the elders that held back my appointment I am going to look him in the eye, shake his hand, and sincerly say "Thank You !!!"

Please consider this my introduction.

KateWild

Welcome aintenoughwiskey, thanks for your story. Kate xx

Ucantnome

I had no desire to be appointed

neverendingjourney

In fact studies of elders were baptized and appointed after I got on the wheel.

At my old hall there was one alpha-elder who pretty much ran the show. He also had a lot of influence in neighboring congregations since they had resulted from splits and the elders there had once been under his influence. I don't remember the exact count, but at one point a very large percentage of elders both in his congregation and in neighboring ones were men whom had studied with this alpha-elder. A lot of sisters with UBMs wanted nothing more than to have their husbands study with this elder in hopes that one day their unbelieving mates would turn into congregation elders.

3rdgen

aintenoughwisky, Welcome. Can you imagine how much harder it would have been to leave if they had appointed you?

fastJehu

@ intenoughwiskey

thanks for your introduction & welcome on board

Be Honest: Were You Ever Jealous When Someone Was Appointed a Pioneer, MS or Elder?

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