IYes, my primitive brain is afraid. The rational part of me gives thanks that I escaped the Witnesses and their ignorance and control. Wondrous things happened to me because I left. The excellent experiences far outweigh the bad ones. I developed agonizing facial pain. It required the full use of my brain and negotiating skills to navigate the medical haze. The financial situation would have been catastrophic. I no longer have agonizing pain.
I lived in NYC. During the darkest pain days, I would wake up at two or three a.m. and my primitive brain would start thinking if I took the subway to Bethel and confessed to my oppressors perhaps the pain would disappear. Maybe Robert DeNiro or Dustin Hoffman could pull it off. I would feel pretty silly confessing and atoning when no relief happened. They have no power over you that you do not grant them. Bethelites, even the GB members, die.