by FadeToBlack 26 Replies latest jw friends
Yes def do something and spend some really nice, quality time together. Spoil her - I know that always works with me :) (sorry no good at suggesting things!)
Also do you have a telephone link or Skype link up to the meeting? Our local hall does so you want to make sure she is otherwise occupied so it wont even cross her mind to listen in to the meeting that way.
Hope all goes well for and this is just the start of something....
I know.............Make it Family Worship Night!
FTB: Buy some wine and rent her favorite movies to make Friday 'our night'?
I like this plan!
Great suggestions so far. She loves having her feet massaged. The taxi option is out of the question. We are not even in the territory. Normally, she is the taxi driver for a couple of 'friends' on her way to the hall. As a counterpoint, I am wondering about some of the same questions undercover brought up. Maybe something else is going on at the hall. I haven't been in some time, so who knows. I do bite my lip and avoid any conversation about stuff JW, even recent abuse cases in the news.
I do feel that she is maybe 50% of the way there. Perhaps some push from the KH will help her get that first leg up over the fence. She came home tonight (CO visit started this week) and seemed pretty down. Should I ask her if everything is ok or just go about my business? We have been kind of disconnected recently (polite but strained). I want more than that. Selfish? I don't think so.....
Humans gravitate to places where they feel most loved and at-home. That is as true of marriage as any other relationship, including those at the Hall. Win this lovely woman over by showing her what a loving and caring man you are. Best!
My first thought was, and still is .......... ask her what *she* would like to do! Offer to make plans (most women love that) if she wants, but ask for suggestions. It's nice to have the details taken care of, which is usually left to the woman.
:)
tal
Good point Talesin. I just assumed that is what she likes to do. I don't generally watch tv, but I would if she really wanted to (bottle of wine would help admittedly). Perhaps, she only watches tv though because of nothing better to do (Ok, I accept the fact that I am not the most exciting guy in the world). She is usually ready to socialize even with 'worldly' neighbors and relatives. Maybe I should setup more get togethers on Friday nights.
The more I think about think about this, the more I am beginning to wonder if we are even compatible. The funny thing is, she would be much better off not being a witness. Probably not just with me. I thinks she just tolerates me because she has to as a good witness wife.
FTB, Just to clarify what I said earlier, I didn't mean NEVER talking things JW, just during the times she is purposely missing meetings. The idea being that you don't want to possibly spoil the mood. It should be more relaxing and loving to be home with you on meeting night. However, when she comes home from a meeting is the perfect time to ask how it went or ask what seems to be troubling her. Listen more than you talk. Validate her feelings. You can plant simple seeds of doubt with questions AFTER you find out what her issues are.
Ya know what? Maybe if you get to know one another (which JWS rarely do), things will change. Maybe she likes to play board games, or XBox, or hey, dance! You just never had a chance to try out those things.
Hey, and most men don't think to just ask - so do NOT beat yourself up for that! Don't get stuck on the 'good provider' stuff - if you have a problem with your vision, and life is tough - it's not your fault. Guilt is a relationship destroyer. Be the best man, the best person you can be, and if you can work as a team, there can be much love and laughter in a poor home. My Grammy taught me that - never did she guilt Grampy because he went blind, and they made it through the hardships by sticking together. It does not make a person 'less', to be sick - screw those who treat you that way!
Hmm, only you can know if there is and was ever that spark. Good marriages can be built, and love can grow. All you can do is give it a try, and see if you grow closer together.
xx
tal
Tal...loved your post. Your grammy sounds like a great role model.
