by purrpurr 21 Replies latest jw friends
I have all my family in the cult and was brought up in it myself. Although mentally I'm out if I leave I loose all my family and that would break my heart. I've somehow got to fly under the radar and not be detected. Not say anything that could give the game away either.
Can anyone give me any ideas of how best to do this?
Just dont say anything to anyone a be aloof, and again if they ask all is well and be aloof some more. Better for them to think you're a little nuts then find out what you really think.
My best advice is say nothing to no one.
My best advice is say nothing to no one.
I don't know much about you. Do you live at home with your parents, spouse or someone? Are you a minor or an adult?
Diff'rent strokes and all that stuff.
I can tell you how NOT to do it! 😯
But they're ^^^^ right. Keep schtum. If they ask, tell em you got personal issues and you'relleaving it with jehovah but thanks for your concern.
Best of luck matey..
Oh dear, why am I getting deja vu?
Your choices are basically this:
1. Do The Fade and blame it on 'depression'.
2. Move to another city
3. Leave.
4. Stay and maybe go to 1 meeting a month. The elders will only bug you for so long. If pressed, you could just say someone stumbled you.
Unfortunately, in many cases like yours, you can't have your cake and eat it too. I had another friend who went back to the evil that is the WTS because he couldn't handle life without his family. To me, all this did was re-affirm to his family how wonderful the shunning is: If we totally ignore him, he'll come back. Now he gets to live the rest of his life as a JW knowing full well that it's a crock of shit. But apparently he thinks it's worth it to have the conditional love of his family.
Sorry, but your choices are limited.
At some point you will be challenged if you are seen to be slacking off from what you used to do.
Before this happens,the best thing to do is approach a sympathetic Elder and ask advice on how to deal with your mounting (fake) depression.
You will get the usual bollocks about "do more study" "do more F.S" etc. Simply thank him, and carry on fading, a bit at a time. If another Elder asks you about things, say dear Bro Sym-Pathetic is lovingly helping me.
If Sympo comes back to you, say you are really trying with what he said, but finding things difficult, " but the other Elders are being helpful too ".
When they discuss you, each will praise the other Elder for what they are doing, divide and rule !
Fade some more. If you are really pressured you will have to fake severe depression with suicidal tendencies, then say, preferably in a letter, " please leave me to recover from this, I will be in touch just as soon as I need you." Of course you will have to fool your JW family too.
It can work.
I find it hard to believe that you can fool them for too long. See if you are alone, this seems like a practical approeach (in my opinion) but when you have familiy you really love (and if they really love you, which I assume is the case) eventually they will take an interest on your problem as well. And how long can you fake this in front of your family. You need to concentrate on what really matters first. The elders don't matter as much as your family. If you work with your family as your main priority, everything else will fall into place. Love will win.
This is the problem with this org... it has too many checks and balances that will let them know when someone falls out of line. It is my theory that no one will ever succeed in taking them down by attacking them directly. There is too much diversity of thought and culture for you to show your friends, family and community, that this is wrong. Too much cushion between you (or us) and the GB. In fact, they remind me of the old movie, The Mask. The bad guy. When they shoot hundreds of bullets at him and he somehow collects them all in his mouth and shoots back. I believe the key is to start eating away the cushion like moths. Each from its own side and angle. Only then we would succeed in bringing about change.
I moved to a Spanish congregation even though did not speak the language...everyone thought i moved to learn the language and to help out.
You become a visitor in the congregation, few will speak to you,elders will leave you alone, eventually i started missing meeting and elders did not care since you were never involved in the cong. or went out in service. Elders in English congrration lost track or did not care.
Two months later i stopped all together, it was a beautiful fade.
Eventually the family will find out about you and you will get the pressure. Don't know the way out when you have family in the organization.
