Elders are going to the CO on me

by cognac 60 Replies latest jw friends

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    The elders have no power over you anymore, so there's no need to meet with them. Please also make it clear that they will not meet with your children, and that if they attempt to do so, you will use it in court over custody issues. Probably the reason they asked about your dad is because the elders view your husband and your father as having control over you. It seems to me that they're hoping your dad will straighten you out, so all they have to do is listen to you grovel for their forgiveness....assholes!

    There is no negotiating with these jerks. I think they're just trying to lure you to a jc, so they can df you. Your case isn't unique at all.

  • truthseekeriam
    truthseekeriam

    I'm really sorry your going through all this, especially the fact that it was your husband who turned you in.

    By what you shared so far seems they have no idea what to do with such a strong woman...lol.

    Trust me, they are trying to figure out how to put you in your place and yes they will use anything and anyone to do it.

    My advice would be not to meet with them...refuse any communication and just let them do what they're going to do. The only control they have is what you give them.

    I wish you and your kids all the best.

  • aintenoughwiskey
    aintenoughwiskey

    Have them put the meeting request in writing. Have your lawyer reply. If an elder calls or speaks to you in person, start asking about his finances, when he asks why you want to know, tell him you don't want to wast your time sueing a poor person. They will drop this like a dog turd!

  • cognac
    cognac

    "Have them put the meeting request in writing. Have your lawyer reply. If an elder calls or speaks to you in person, start asking about his finances, when he asks why you want to know, tell him you don't want to wast your time sueing a poor person. They will drop this like a dog turd!"

    Thats a good idea!

  • lisaBObeesa
    lisaBObeesa

    Only a Jehovah's Witness can be DF or DA. Only a JW meets with JW elders about their personal lives. And the elders can only make announcements about members of the congregation.

    You are not a Jehovah's Witness. You are not a member of the congregation. You have had nothing to do with them for quite some time.

    They have no right to do anything to you since you are not a member of their little club. Let them know you know your rights as a non-JW person (not DF and not DA...a non-JW) and that you will bring legal action if they try to treat you as if you are a JW (ie if they make any sort of announcement about you from the stage, df or da you, or anything else).

    Better yet, pay to have a lawyer write a letter stating this.

    Not saying they won't go ahead and announce something anyway, but there are examples on this board of legal letters to this effect that have worked to stop annoucements/df/da.

    ETA: if you meet with them, you are participating...you are 'being a JW.' Don't do it...

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    As a female you have power! Use it! Absolutely do NOT trust the Eldubs! Even if they mean well, that are deluded followers of men.

    As for apostasy, that's a slippery word. You have abandoned Jwism, so technically you are an apostate. I would argue that you cannot apostasize from human ideas. It won't make a difference to the Eldubs.

    You can try to reason with your hubby. Who knows, he may see how bat-shit crazy they are?

    DD

  • Gentledawn
    Gentledawn

    Typical go-to question dropped by the Elderberries which they apparently think is a real "gotcha!":

    "Do you believe the governing body[i.e. mere men] are god's channel of communication on earth today?"

    http://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/faq/are-jehovahs-witnesses-a-cult/

    Are Jehovah’s Witnesses a Cult?

    No, Jehovah’s Witnesses are not a cult. Rather, we are Christians who do our best to follow the example set by Jesus Christ and to live by his teachings.

    What is a cult?

    The term “cult” means different things to different people. However, consider two common perceptions regarding cults and why those perceptions don’t apply to us.


    • Some think of a cult as being a new or unorthodox religion. Jehovah’s Witnesses have not invented a new religion. On the contrary, we pattern our worship after that of the first-century Christians, whose example and teachings were recorded in the Bible. (2 Timothy 3:16, 17) We believe that the Holy Scriptures should be the authority on what is orthodox in matters of worship.


    Some think of a cult as being a dangerous religious sect with a human leader[s]. Jehovah’s Witnesses do not look to any human as their leader. Rather, we adhere to the standard that Jesus set for his followers when he stated: “Your Leader is one, the Christ.”—Matthew 23:10.

    Far from being a dangerous cult, Jehovah’s Witnesses practice a religion that benefits its members and others in the community. For example, our ministry has helped many people to overcome harmful addictions, such as the abuse of drugs and alcohol. In addition, we conduct literacy classes around the world, helping thousands learn to read and write. And we are actively involved in disaster relief. We work hard to have a positive impact on others, just as Jesus commanded his followers to do.—Matthew 5:13-16.

    ______

    The watchtower leadership lies, lies and lies. They lie from the top down. Everyone in the chain of command is expected to obfuscate, "give milk, not meat", deceive, and all around get a person do what they (the enforcers... because that's what they are) want them to do. The religion clearly has two faces. One is for the incoming recruits and "weaker" ones. One is the hardass rules and absolute life-control that the cult exerts over everything. Use your "bible trained conscience"? My eye. (another example of lies and obfuscation at work: http://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/faq/do-jehovahs-witnesses-ban-certain-entertainment/)

    • If they tell you it's "not about you" (what they told my husband when they dragged him in front of a JC after i sent my DA letter)? That's a lie.
    • If they tell you you won't get DF'd because you're "special" or "unique"? That's a lie. "Brazen" conduct is the new "loose" and is a blanket reason. Meaning, they can DF anyone for just about anything.

    Do not meet with them. Make it clear your children are NOT to be spoken to without you present. Tell em you will get a lawyer if the harrassment continues. Threaten that you will get the media involved, too. You have power.

    Women are NOT respected by most of the males in the leadership positions. Nothing like having a sheep-herding visit and have some dipwit asking my husband's permission to come to the hospital for MY surgery. Makes a person want to shout, "I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE!"

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    They might be feeling touchy feely right now, but if the CO is a hard ass expect to be summoned to a JC in a New York second.

    People are throw away commodities in a cult. Expect and plan for the absolute worst with these guys.

  • poopsiecakes
    poopsiecakes

    "domineering personality" - in other words, you're a strong woman with a valid opinion. Love it! It pisses me off that your husband decided to put the borg ahead of you, but I figured that's how it would be and that's from personal experience...I was your husband back when I was mind controlled. :(

    You're handling this beautifully and I'd love to have a drink with you sometime.

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    I can't wait to hear what happens next. Be a momma bear and keep protecting your kid from the organization.

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