Elders are going to the CO on me (page 6)

cognac

@kate - He lied to them to get you d'ffed? Don't they need 2 witnesses?

AlphaMan

he is going to tell the elders they need to drop it and not to bother me.

.

This will be interesting to see how it turns out if he does that. You should actually insist he do that. Will they drop it to preserve your family, or will they proceed forward to make you conform to their petty rules? Your hubby will actually see what nonsense is important to this cult. Might help wake him up. I think if he talks to them you will probably get off this time with some sort of reprove. Of course, you seem determined to be happy so I can't see you conforming to them.

KateWild

I was an opinionated sister when I was in, they wanted to cover up the DV. It's all about being a submissive wife, plus I was a convert no parents to speak up for me. If you get a chance look up my story. Kate xx

BluesBrother

I think if he talks to them you will probably get off this time with some sort of reprove

They can only "administer reproof" in a case of serious sin and repentence....Cog is not repentent. If they went that way then a d/f is the only outcome if it were proven . They only have one witness, let it stay that way. Of course if husband finds his moral strength and defies a call to be a witness, there is no allegation to answer.

I would be wary of a C/O.. he might feel that by using the "child custody pack" , husband would get custody . You never know what harm these guys are going to do before they swan off to their next assignment and leave a mess for others to live with.....

hamsterbait

I hope the so called man in your life is sleeping on the sofa. With hold all sex until he respects you.

flipper

COGNAC- My wife and I enjoyed chatting with you the other day. Sounds like this situation is getting close to a " showdown at Big Sky ". Or the O.K. Corral. Wow. As you have stated it's your husband that is the culprit in all of this who is throwing you under the bus.

His statements betray him as SO mind controlled and SOOOOO..... delusional it's almost like you are living with the president of " big brother " or the 1984 association, " we are always watching you ". His statement, " I'm the head of this household and I'll make those decisions ". Good gawd. He's disrespecting your free will for you to decide for yourself what to do. This is what you'll be waking up to the rest of your life if you stay with this guy. You are too smart for him. He's a mind controlled drone who agrees with the elders, C.O. and the WT Society that women are to be " seen and not heard ". And your husband intention's , " now he's going to tell the elders they need to drop it and not to bother me . However, I told him it's probably too late because he already told on me. HE seems to think OTHERWISE. " What planet does this guy LIVE on ?? He feels that the elders will just fall into line if he asks them to cease and desist harassing you ? He really is deluded . If he is trying to be appointed an MS his asking the elders to NOT do their job won't bode well for his possible appointment ! LOL.

I DO hope that you would consider moving to Northern California out west here ! My wife and me , my son and his girlfriend would love to have you out here ! You would have lots of support as there are other JWN board members we know out here too.

I think the one thing you will NEED to get clarity on in all of this is realizing in your own mind that your husbands prime loyalties fall on the side of the WT Society and that whatever contact that YOU continue to have with him in the future is going to have an effect on your daughter's minds - even when you get divorced - and they stay with their dad half the time. That will mean that HALF of the time they will be indoctrinated by a JW father who will be trying to undo and unlearn any critical thinking ability that YOU are trying to inculcate into your girls. I know, because after I left the JW cult my fanatic JW wife turned my JW daughters totally against me and my son - and she continued badmouthing me constantly- like your JW husband would probably do to you when he has your girls out of your sight. It's called psychological manipulation and my friend you had better prepare yourself for it. If your husband is being THIS manipulative with you now throwing you under the bus when you are still together- imagine how empowered he may feel to do it when you split up and how he may try to alienate your girls affections towards you. Think carefully where you are going with this- it's your decision and how you handle this will affect you and your daughters destiny. We are here for you anytime you want to talk, as are many of your good friends here at JWN. Hang in there, we're thinking of you daily

cognac

I would be wary of a C/O.. he might feel that by using the "child custody pack" , husband would get custody . You never know what harm these guys are going to do before they swan off to their next assignment and leave a mess for others to live with.....

Does anyone have access to this child custody packet?

Hamster- we are definately not sleeping in the same bed.

Flipper, thank you so much. I enjoyed speaking with you also. I've started researching the area and as everything unravels I'll think about what to do. I'm still kind of in shock he actually told on me.

RayPublisher

Total BS lots of us are rooting for you Cognac.

carla

get your ducks in a row sooner rather than later legally! see my earlier post on free consultation with a lawyer and there are a few others out there if you Google it, some can direct you to an attorney who is familiar with the jw situation.

I know somebody who went through an ugly divorce and the spouse could not move more than 50 miles away from the original home, then it was 150 miles, the spouse moved just to make life difficult even though the ones really suffering was the kids.

There have been threads in the past where a judge ruled that the kids could not be raised in jw but it was a long hard battle but worth it in my opinion. Good luck.

skeeter1

Yes, get a lawyer. Sometimes the "agreement" will require you stay in the same area. Many times, you have to get permission from the court (and your spouse) to move. Moving changes the visitation agreement and is set to harm the kids becuase you are taking them away from their own father. If it was "every other weekend", it might go to "every Summer with dad." So, to do this, you likely need a great excuse to move, job, health, etc. would be better.

Jobs are best in Texas, then in Florida, and then California. Look at Houston.

Elders are going to the CO on me

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