This goes back a ways. Back to August of 1988. My brother and I were the ones being marked. At the time, my father had clued us in that it was coming and had gotten a recording of it. I don't know if I still have that. It might have been on loan and he had to give it back. So I had transcribed it.
Marking Talk : Thu August 4, 1988
As we review our congregation, we have many things to be thankful for. Most treasured in our congregation are our youthful ones. What a fine example most of you set: in your service, in your conduct, in your grooming, and in upholding your dedication to Jehovah God. Some of you are full time pioneers. Some are striving to auxiliary pioneer from time to time and during vacation time and we just saw an example of that here. Most of you serve as a congregation publisher, and this too is wonderful in that you recognize the need right now to publicize Jehovah’s Kingdom through Jesus Christ. Many of you sacrifice things that might be pleasurable to youthful ones, realizing that bad association can spoil useful habits.
Rightly so young ones. We older ones all share with you in the knowledge that forsaking a little pleasure now in this Satan ruled world can mean an endless lifetime of pure pleasure under Jehovah’s soon coming New Order. So we commend you and we encourage you to keep a fine attitude as you try to do what the Psalmist recommended at Psalm 37:37. Yes, keep your eye on those setting a good example among us. Note what is said, at Psalm 37:37, “Watch the blameless one and keep the upright one in sight for the future of [that] man will be peaceful”. What then is recommended here? To look at the upright ones. Those setting a good example among us. And it says the way of the blameless one and the upright one will be peaceable. Yes, that is what we want for our beloved youthful ones, peace, joy, and indeed happiness.
However, some youthful ones have departed significantly from the Christian way. Time and time again ignoring repeated counsel offered by the elders and they go on walking disorderly among us. What was Paul’s counsel as respects such ones? He advised all that if they would not respond to firm counsel given before the entire congregation, they should be marked, and avoided, evidently in all social matters. A Christian who pursues a course that is out of harmony with God’s direction and does not change, despite help given by elders, is not a case where one has a personal difference with another. Nor is it just that an individual has yet to grow up to Christian maturity and so reflects in various ways his need for continued growth. The apostle Paul acknowledged the fact that there would be immature Christians who should be helped with patience, love, and a desire to see them progress. But aside from such, there may be someone who chooses to pursue a course, that while it does not yet amount to gross sin, is clearly in conflict with Jehovah’s counsel. Yes, there may be someone who has not let himself be corrected by mere words of the elders. He may persist in going contrary to God’s principals. Christians then may feel obliged to withdraw from him, as Paul mentions and advises us at 2 Thessalonians 3. And we can read 14 and 15 of 2 Thessalonians 3:14 and 15. Notice what Paul says, “But if anyone is not obedient to our word through this letter, keep this one marked, stop associating with him, that he may become ashamed. And yet do not be considering him as an enemy, but continue admonishing him as a brother”.
Therefore, we who support Jehovah’s superlative ways, should note one becoming involved in worldly trends. Participating in beer drinking binges, accepting and displaying bizarre hair styles, adopting a specific manner of dress that conforms to this world, yes, even indulging in R-rated movies and videos, one who enjoys hard rock music and those who attend rock concerts and other public functions dressed in worldly attire. Also was it not the apostle Paul who advised that bodily training is beneficial for a little but godly devotion is beneficial for all things. Those who set such a bad example are not to be associated with socially. Those who continue to do so will be placed in the same position as those who are being marked for such conduct. Paul said, “Stop associating with the marked ones, that they may become ashamed”. Brothers would not completely shun these, for again Paul advised, “continue admonishing him as a brother”. What is really meant by the word admonish? IT means to advise one against the wrongs being committed, to warn gently. For example, the policeman admonished he driver not to drive too fast. Also we could say to reprove gently. We could also say to recall that one to a sense of responsibility overlooked or ignored.
Thus by refusing social fellowship with such ones, we might lead them to become ashamed or indeed awaken in them the need to change course and conform to Bible principles. In the meantime, our youthful brothers and sisters would be protected from the unwholesome influences of these ones. We can learn how this was done in Paul’s day by turning to 2 Timothy 2:20 and we’ll read 20 through 22. That’s 2 Timothy 2:20 through 22, “Now in a large house there are vessels not only of gold and silver but also of wood and earthenware and some for an honorable purpose but others as a purpose lacking honor. If, therefore, anyone keeps clear of the latter ones, he will be a vessel for an honorable purpose, sanctified, useful to his owner, prepared for every good work”. And then notice, youthful ones, what it says, “So, flee from every good work”. What does that mean flee? It means to rush away from, don’t even look back. “Flee from the desired incidental to youth, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, along with those who call upon the Lord out of a clean heart”.
And by following Paul’s advice, we can do the same in our day. Poor examples and unwholesome influences must be removed from the Christian congregation. Those we mark are not in certain significant aspects at least representative of what genuine Christianity ought and should be. While not gross, neither is their misconduct something so minor or petty that it could be overlooked or covered over by love. So then, rather than the elders officially and publicly labeling individuals as disorderly, the members of the congregation individually do the marking. In this respect it is interesting to note how various translations exhibit the phrase “keep this one marked”. The New English bible: “mark him well”, the New Berkeley Version: “note him well”, the Jerusalem Bible says: “take note of him”, and the New American Standard bible says: “take special note of that man”. In other words, the congregation would mark these in the sense that we mean when saying “mark my word”. Elders of course would be very careful not to use such ones in an exemplary capacity. Again, this does not mean that brothers would refuse to greet such ones when at Christian meeting places. They would receive and treat such ones in brotherly fashion. As appropriate opportunities afforded, it would be proper to admonish these as a brother. And of course we should be sure that we ourselves are setting the proper example.
Isn’t it true that parents and especially family heads are obliged as Christians to know what each family member is doing? Are we not also obliged to act on wrongs being committed by a family member or members? Even if a member of a family circle becomes of legal age and no longer in a legal sense the responsibility of the household head, this does not in the eyes of Jehovah God excuse the family head from exercising headship responsibility. Especially is this so, if that family member, or members, continue to reside under the roof and authority of that family head. A very good illustration of this can be noted in the case of E’li the priest and his immoral sons, Hophni and Phinehas. When feebly reprimanded by their father, they refused to hear, Jehovah took the matter in hand and pronounced judgment upon them and later they were both executed in a battle against the Philistines.
Now please note how Jehovah feels about wayward sons and daughters by turning to Bible book of Deuteronomy the 21 st chapter. 21 st chapter and we’ll read 18 through 21. “In case a man happens to have a son who is stubborn and rebellious, he not listening to the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and they have corrected him but he will not listen to them, his father and his mother must also take hold of him and bring him out to the older men of his city and to the gate of his place, and they must say to the older men of his city, This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he is not listening to our voice, being a glutton and a drunkard’. Then all the men of his city must pelt him with stones, and he must die. So you must clear away what is bad from your midst and all Israel will hear and indeed become afraid”.
Do you suppose, youthful ones that you would have lived a long life in Israel if you did no obey the voice of your father and your mother? There weren’t many cases that went to the gate. Today, we don’t stone to death our sons and our daughters when they commit serious wrongs. However, if a son or a daughter is of age and he or she refuses to heed the good counsel of a father and mother instead of stoning them, you can do the next best thing. You can ostracize them, which means to banish them, expel them from your household. If family heads fail to act, or in a feeble way try to reprimand disorderly ones, then Jehovah’s disfavor falls upon that household, along with more problems. Then too, because family heads fail to recognize wrongs being committed by family members or because of being overly permissive, and do not act, holy spirit is restricted at the congregation level. Brothers and sisters, this could very well be the reason we are not experiencing an increase in our territory.
The point we want so much to drive home tonight is that we mark well those who continue to walk disorderly among us, that they become ashamed for having tested the patience of our loving God Jehovah.
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This talk was about my brother and I. We were born ins. The second round of children for my parents. We had moved to this hall from another because there were more young ones and, with my brother and I in our late teens, parents were thinking of potential marriage partners.
Well, for the first few years, we didn't get to know the other kids very well. They were in their own little cliques and didn't invite the new kids in. Then our mom died. There was supposed to be a big outing to a nearby amusement park and probably out of pity some of the others invited us. Only nobody showed up. Nobody but my brother, myself, and the guy who we would later find out was the congregation alcoholic (a year older than me). We spent the day drinking at the amusement park. All of a sudden, the others in the hall knew we were "cool" and were part of the "in" crowd in the congregation that were drinkers. Even the pioneers were drinking. Then sooner or later somebody's conscience bothered them and they confessed. My brother and I never admitted to anything. But being the newest kids, felt like we were thrown under the bus.
We continued being ourselves. Still hung out with worldly friends. Still drank beer. And, being rather new to it, didn't know our pacing and sometimes overindulged. Yes, we did go to rock concerts. The very first one was when I was about 12 when my elder brother-in-law took my brother and I to see Santana. He loved rock, played guitar, and was a big influence on us as well. But, that was a different congregation, different rules. R-rated movies? I remember going to a big congregation party where everybody was watching Blues Brothers. Old congregation though.
My bizzare hair style was spiked. Not in a rooster form. More like a Howie Long type of spiked - still very clean-cut. Oh, we wear "worldly clothes" to rock concerts? What are we supposed to wear? Suits? I want to know who was there to see what we wore. The manner of dress that conforms to the world were clothes a JW-girlfriend picked out for me. But she was in a different congregation. Bodily training? I liked lifting weights.
And worst of all, they picked on our father. Saying more or less that my brother and I should be kicked out of his home. True. We were of age and probably should have moved out by then. And eventually did about 9 months later. But it had been 3 years since our mother / his wife died after a brief illness and we were all still coping. My dad was still very upset. We would still see him crying often and we knew he wanted us around. We loved him and wanted to be together. And didn't mind the lower expenses either.
My dad was NOT complicit with the drinking. He just didn't know.
I also like that they blame their lack of growth in their territory on us. Really??? It isn't because you have a tired boring message and are considered anything from quirky to a cult by the public, could it?
What effect did this have? Well, my brother and I always had worldly friends. And the "marking" seemed to have been going on already from some. The only thing it did was seem to drive us to have closer company with our "worldly" friends. Which helped out in the end. When we finally left for good, our attachments to JW friends were already faded and replaced by worldly ones.