I might add that, aside from the drinking, my brother and I were NEVER pulled aside about anything else on their list. Not the clothing, hair styles, working out, R-rated movies, rock concerts, etc.
It's possible they mentioned some of these things from the podium (who knows? it was easy for the mind to wander during talks). But mostly as warnings that a Christian *might* want to consider it. Or beware! Not "you are forbidden from doing it". OK, I'll consider it. I'll beware. My attitude was "well, they didn't say we couldn't and I think it'll be OK, so"...
As for worldly dress and hair styles, how am I supposed to know what they do and don't like unless they tell me? I wouldn't say we were blatantly worldly or out of the norm for what I might see others wearing at the bigger assemblies with a bigger mix of congregations. My gf at the time added a bit of color to my wardrobe in the sea of dark suits and white shirts. Oh the sinfulness! And talks about dress are always happening. How am I supposed to know that you're talking about our congregation? It was usually in regard to the length of the slits in girl's dresses and how much leg they were showing. Not whether you could wear a shirt with color.
But, this "marking" had been going on by many already. There was no need to do a special talk. Others would throw the secret parties, confess, and somehow we were the bad guys and avoided. One guy (the alcoholic) had had drunk driving convictions 3 times and another accident or two where his dad's connections to the police force saved him from legal troubles. By his mid-20's, he had only been able to drive a total of 4 total years and another 6.5 years were under license suspension. Yet he was always welcomed by others. The elders were aware, but he was never disfellowshipped. Never reproved. Never a marking talk.
I don't know. Maybe it's because we didn't let the guilt settle on us like others thought we should. So we were the ones ostracized.
Less than a year later, as stated, we moved out of my father's and across town. We were out of the territory and just found it oh so hard to attend meetings across town where we weren't wanted anyway. And didn't go searching for a new hall either. Yet still believed that it was the truth, and these people were just executing it improperly. A year after that, I read Crisis of Conscience and my eyes were opened.
Today, we're both doing well. What most would call nice guys. Nice to others, good loving fathers.
Looking back, the drinking back then was probably a symptom of grief. That, and being in our early 20's in a town where beer drinking was a heavy part of the culture - and being normal guys experimenting with it. Rather than the JWs being a comfort for the loss of our mother, alcohol did a better job and made us happy. It was fun to be a little drunk, forget the sadness, act a little silly, and then laugh at ourselves afterwards. Don't give me a lecture about alcohol never solves anything. Maybe it was masking sorrow. But it did make us happy and bonded us together. And with time the pain went away.
As guys in our 40's, we rarely drink at home. Mostly in social situations where others are too. And rarely if ever to excess these days.
Dad has passed away, leaving only my sisters as JWs. We barely hear from from them. All of the aunts, cousins, and even the son and daughters of our JW sisters have left the JWs. Of 13 family members who were once JWs, 3 died JWs, 2 others remain JWs. That's over 60% loss.