Getting married when you are spiritually out

1tMakesNoSence

I met this amazing girl about 6years ago at my local congregation.

I was 100% in back then.

About 3years ago I woke up spiritually and kept it undercover till a few months ago.

This girl is still very in (But she doesnt really do the things a Reaaal jw should do. And I like that...) but mentally shes still in.

I want to mary this girl but I want to hear from those with experience how it is to be married to some one who is still mentally in.

She knows I am mentally out, and only wants me to support her at the meetings and act for her parents sake ( they are hard core). She also has allot of questions and dont understand allot of things, but still believes either way. (Shes 20 )

I feel that since she does things with me she isnt allowed to, I can just as well support her going to the study and one or two door knockings a month for the rest of my life.

How has life been for all of you who married a believer when you were mentality out? (Or woke up while you were married)

fastJehu

1tMakesNoSence
I feel that since she does things with me she isnt allowed to, I can just as well support her going to the study and one or two door knockings a month for the rest of my life.

Welcome on board.

Could you support your "wife" also, if she will be a pioneer? Then you have some more door knockings to support.

Will she come with problems to you - or will she visit her elders in the congregation?

cantleave

Does she know your are mentally out? If not, do you believe that is a solid foundation for a marriage? IMO you can not enter into a life long commitment on a foundation of deception and dishonesty.

The Searcher

Welcome 1tMakesNoSence;

Sad to say, unless you both faded after getting married, you would be giving yourself grief for the rest of your life.

Do you feel that she would "go" with you out of the Org?

whathehadas

A bad situation to get into, knowing what you know. Your girlfriend would essentially become married to 2 husbands, you and the organization. Who you think she would choose to stay with in the end?

stuckinarut2

What is to say that one day, perhaps when you have kids, she won't go all "full on" back into witness mode?

Then where will you be?

1tMakesNoSence

Yea thats all good points...

She knows im out spiritually and She will DEFINITELY come to me with her problems. Elders are out of the pitcure (at least now)

Even knocking on doors I dont mind if she supports me in all my "worldly stuff". I mean its just an hour a week.

On a scale from 1 to 10(hardcore) she is about a 5.

I would love to hear how life is for some in my situation who got married.

truthseeker100

When I was a young man the witnesses tried to snare me with some nice sister. I was smart enough to stay THE HELL AWAY from them. I will be celebrating 26 years of marriage this year married to a worldly girl.

This girl is only a 5 now on Richter scale as a witness, just wait till she has a kid then things will change. Do what you want because you will anyway. Marriage can be tough at times but having this religion in your life is something you don't need. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

I would love to hear how life is for some in my situation who got married.

I don't meet that qualification, but I thought I would share this instructional video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlWgF8dqneg

DesirousOfChange

I'd say it depends on how good you are at faking it and how comfortable you are faking it (at the KHall). One of my best friends is now completely mentally "out" but he continues through the motions at a 35%-50% rate of attending meetings and one day per month of driving through territory where no one is at home. All because his wife is a "diehard". Let me clarify. She's a diehard "social JW". It's her social network of friends and she is the social butterfly of the Cong. Any doctrine that interferes with her life, she can ignore. She drinks like a pro (but most of their friends do too) and she loves to gamble (when out of town and out of sight). Yet, at the KHall she is little Miss Do-Gooder.

My friends says it's easier to "fake it" than risk losing his friends, family, etc. Some here might accuse him of being a hypocrite. He'd say: "So what? Am I telling them how to run their life?"

Your mileage may vary.

Doc

Getting married when you are spiritually out

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