by lostinthought 13 Replies latest jw friends
I married a J-Dub and our families did not attend. She was babtized and I was just going and studying - they said it would be supporting her decision by attending attend.
If I had married a "normal" woman they would have attended. I was raised a witness but never babtized, thank Jehovah.
The best approach in my opinion is to just plan the wedding exactly the way you want it to be. Then invite the people you feel close to. Then it is strictly their decision as to whether to attend. Whatever they decide to do, don't allow it to affect your wedding one bit. For any Witnesses who do show up, make it clear that it is YOUR wedding and they are not allowed to bring their JW opinions and comments into the event. This is YOUR day.....don't let it be about THEM.
First, congrats. So for my wedding experience....
I was baptized, faded and haven't done anything in over 10 years. My grandfather is a well known JW in the area, elder andformer Presiding Overseer (for 20+ years), etc. He decided that it wouldn't be appropriate for them to attend my marriage to a non-JW since I had been baptized. One of my sisters used the same excuse. My other sister attended, also a JW but on the fence depending on her mood. It is a conscience matter but you know how the WT says that and then infers you know what you are supposed to do. Could they lose privileges? Depends on the elder body and if everyone knows them to be a JW, etc. I wasn't married in a church but it ended up being a religious ceremony since they decided last min to not attend.
You pretty much have to be willing to discount your family if you quit going to meetings. You now are going to spend the rest of your life with all kinds of weird behaviour from them trying to decide if they can attend this event, that event, should be seen with you, shouldn't be seen with you, and whole big long list involving whacky thought processes, biblical reasons why or why not this, why or why not that, justifications for seeing you, justifications for not, etc. Get used to it. Wouldn't it be nice if you could just love someone for who they are without irrational fears that being in proximity to them will put you on the execution list at Armageddon?
Funny thing though - I've seen this time and time again - all you gotta do is churn out a few kids and then the parents will come skulking around because they want to babysit and expose the young ones to the truth. Suddenly it's okay to be around you and your family whether you were baptized or not, whether you married a believer or not, and totally regardless if you knocked up your wife before or after marriage, during an alcohol fueled orgy, or even if she was knocked up by someone else. Suddenly grandkids makes it all ok.
I don't understand the thought process involved where it's okay to shun you and treat you like dirt, but then it's okay for them to come around if there are grandkids. Surely there is a scripture or a watchtower somewhere that explains this thought process in a convoluted manner.
-sign me silent - I have spoken the truth
