Hi I'm twvsnt and I've been a witness for 3 years now. Im glad this site exists. I've been meaning to speak to fellow witnesses who are more open-minded. Don't get me wrong but being through all that I've been through because of the way fellow witnesses have been towards me made me bitter to some extent. Every since I started studying with a sister that day she came at my door I was convinced there was no other religion to be in but this one and I still feel this way.
The problem is this I want to pioneer but can't financially afford to so now I'm going to college so that I can support myself in the field (because right now I can barely afford to take care of myself right now). But at the meetings when the friends are speaking amongst themselves ( especially the older ones), or when the sisters are on the platform giving a talk, or when the brothers are giving their talks or when that cold hearted elder at the book-study make durogatory comments about how going to school is indicative of a spritually weak person in search of riches or a person putting Jehovah second and not first it really hurts. Because first of all I'm not materialistic I was always living under someone else's roof paying no rent and because of this I was taken advantage of and grew sick and tired of this. Number two every since I was studying the friends always gave me a hard time with getting a ride home, in short many of them are very stingy when it comes to giving a sister or brother a ride to and from the meetings (unless your're studying to be a witness and not baptized as one yet) So much for "brotherly love" and "tender affection"[8>].AS a matter of fact because my school assignments made it difficult to attend one sister's gathering she no longer gives me a ride to the book-study that's AT HER HOME It's because of stunts similiar to this that other sisters have pulled on me that I'm going to college right now!! And the most ironic thing about this situation is that the same friends that won't help me with getting a ride to the meetings are the exact same one's that are giving me a hard time about going to college. You'd think they'd be glad since it will enable me to give myself a ride in my own car and not bother them any more
When architect101 mentioned the ecomonmical hardships that comes with pioneering I was totally feelin' this person. It's because of the stunts the sisters pull on me ( a single sister who is the only witness in her family) and the hurtful comments the friends or so-called friends at the hall make that often times I don't even want to go to the meetings but I go any way because they help me to deal with the friends and my family at home who are even more unloving towards me (and this is even before I became a witness).
And another ironic thing about the friends at the hall is that if they'd only recall that wathchtower a few years ago that said that it was okay to go to college as long it was so that you can serve God more fully without ecomomic problems holding you back but yet and still these so-called "loving" brothers and sisters mock not only me but themselves because there's nothing wrong with trying to help yourself out of a difficult situation especially when the scriptures don't rute it and the friends at the hall or any where for that matter won't helf you[>:(]
college education=spiritual weakness?
by twvsnt 33 Replies latest jw experiences
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twvsnt
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Prisca
Hey girl,
I'm sorry to hear what you're going thru and I can totally relate because I have been a single sister trying to make her way through life alone. I was discouraged from going to college/university because it was considered being materialistic and that going would take you out of the truth, bad associations, etc, etc. So for the 4 years that I could have been studying for a degree, I was either unemployed, or working part-time during an economic recession. Oh, and kicked out of home by my Witness father and step-mother. It was a great start to life. [8>]
The ones in your cong looking down on you are being hypocrites. Perhaps you could remind them that they are not keeping up to date with the FDS by refusing to accept the new thinking on the education issue.
Can you have a talk with an elder that you get on with and discuss the problems you have been having re the car lifts to meetings? Just focus on that issue, point out that you are trying to stay strong spiritually, but the fact that the sisters are reluctant to give you lifts is making it hard for you to get to the meetings. Just stay on the spiritual side of things, don't bring up the college issue, so that the discussion doesn't get side-tracked.
And my heart goes out to you. It is hard to have to do things on your own, but stay focused on your goals in life, and don't let any one's negativity get in the way.
It's your life, so enjoy it!
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larc
Hi new person,
There are some here who have college degrees. There are at least two on this DB that are going to college right now (DrivesLikeJehu and Lurker). There are also some older ones who did not go and regret it. Many of these are encouraging their children to go. Personaly, I think you should go for it. I think that you may get a hard time while you are going. Some of your sisters may think you are "uppity", especialy if you say something intelligent. My hunch is that if you graduate and either pioneer or get a good job you will then be respected again. It is a lot easier to pioneer or do other worhtwhile things if you have marketable skills. If you graduate and take a good paying job, you can always give financial assistance to those who are living meagerly as they pioneer.
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Simon
Hi twvsnt
Maybe the other sisters are jealous that you are doing something to better yourself ?
My wife (Angharad) is doing an Open University course on science and she is loving it. I would have loved to study more and get more qualifications but was actively discouraged.
Don't let them put you off! -
thinkers wife
Twvsnt,
Welcome to the board. You can discuss anything you want here without fear of being judged harshly.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I sounds very difficult. And when things hurt us emotionally, it is even harder.
I think Prisca, Larc, and Simon gave you good advice.
Keep your chin up.
TW -
logical
Twvsnt: you might be interested in the following quote from an older post:
COLLEGE EDUCATION/HIGHER LEARNING:
The WTS has taught for many years that the attending of college was a BAD THING...and discouraged tens of thousands from attending a university of any sorts, of higher learning, and gaining a college degree.
To attest to the factualness of this occurence, today, almost all of the Circuit, District, Branch Personnel, Missionaries, Governing Body members, present today, who did not have this opportunity before becoming Jehovah's Witnesses, WILL HAVE TO ADMIT WHEN QUESTIONED, that they are thus, in this most pitiful, pitiable, pennyless, deplorable condition today, all because of "man-made" indoctrination heaped upon them by WTS headquarters staff. Yes, ALL ARE WITHOUT COLLEGE EDUCATION to this day because of this "man-made," human reasoning concoction, "commandment of men," that is clearly not taught in the Scriptures, God's Word. A Fact!
Now, it is totally appropriate and proper for a JW to go to college, if he so chooses. But not so, a few years ago. It was a "sin" to go to college, a few years ago, as taught by the WTS.
...a "commandment of men."
Today, we know, the Bible does not teach nor speak on such a matter about attending a university of higher learning.
But yet, over the past many years, the WTS has enforced this "commandment of men," and even insisted upon making this an "unstated rule" by frequently withholding privileges of responsibility to any who pursued a college education, despite their warnings, privileges that could be held within the organization. This is a fact.
All brothers and sisters in Special Services in the organization today, Special Pioneers, Missionaries, Travelling Overseers, Bethel personnel, all KNOW THIS to be a FACT..and can attest to this to be the situation, the situation, since their very lifes, present state of affairs, actually speaks for them!
They are "uneducated" as a group of people, many in their late 50s, 60s, 70s, and above.
Ask them why, they didn't go to college, and see if the "answer" is not unanimously linked to "counsel" from "Mother Bethel.
"Commandments of men,"...idolatry.
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alias
twvsnt, welcome to the board. It's great to see new faces!
I say follow your heart and take care of your personal needs by getting the extra schooling you need. Nobody else is going to be paying your bills or working in the positions you'll qualify for so you might as well make the best of it. Those who speak out against college are often from generations that didn't require extra schooling, or are working several menial jobs to make ends meet(hoping Armageddon will happen soon so they can stop) or are carrying around that older negative view that logical posted about.
There is nothing wrong with getting a good education and learning the skills you'll need for a decent job. I get really irritated when some label those who choose college as "sprititually weak". Because of being brought up in this mindset all my life, it was very difficult for me to rationalize going to college a few years ago. But the more you think about your situation (and the job market) logically, the arguments they have just seem so absurd. It's almost like them saying, "If you learn something new outside of the org, you are spritually weak."
Where I live it is very difficult to get a job that doesn't pay minimum wage without some sort of extra education. In fact, the current position I'm in required knowing some specific software that I learned at the local college. Most employers like to hire those who are willing to continue to grow and learn in their field because it makes them more valuable to the company.
I wish you well and hope you make the decisions that are right for you. Please don't let others influence you out of the opportunities that are easier to do when you are so young.
Alia
Edited by - alias on 24 February 2001 11:54:53
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waiting
Hey new girl,
One thing that's not been mentioned is that (at least in usa) 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Most of the time, the divorced father will not pay child support (thus the need for agencies to find him) because the mother usually ends up with the children. All of them.
I was in that situation. If I had marketable skills - it wouldn't have been nearly as hard on me or my three children.
Even if you do marry and have a marvelous husband and children - to have learned intelligence of your own - and not a mirror of your husband who may have not much of his own - is a wonderful thing.
My middle son was given a hard time about going to college - either the elders or ones a few years older than him, who had not gone to college. Really, the elders said less critical things than those slightly older. And I feel that jealousy was the main thing.
Your intelligence, college degree, and the ability to stand on your on two feet will carry you further in life than jw meetings. Don't get me wrong, the search for God is a fine - lifetime - search. To find and love Him is a great gift. That search and jw meetings don't necessarily mean the same thing.
Do you have counselors, therapists, at your school? If so, please take advantage of this - my son did, and it really helped him. Free, too.
Nice to meet you. Stay around and chat awhile.
waiting
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DriveslikeJehu
Hi twvsnt,
I'm one of the folks mentioned currently attending college. A lot of ppl still might not see the need for it, but if you need it to support yourself, you gotta get it, right? Some ppl just don't realize that, and see that times are different now. It's a lot harder to get a decent job now, than it was oh, 15-20 years ago(At least that's what I hear. I'm only 20 myself).
It's especially commendable that you want to pioneer and further Kingdom interests as well. I'm hoping to possibly do the same, but I'm willing to settle for supporting a pioneer sister.
Don't let the naysayers get to you, and keep up the good work! They don't know your circumstances, and can't understand them. Only Jehovah and yourself can. -
RedhorseWoman
Hi Twvsnt,
You've been given some good advice on this thread so far. All I can do is add to it somewhat.
If you really want to pioneer, I can assure you that it will be much easier and much more fulfilling if you have a job where you can actually support yourself. Additionally, despite what you have been told, the world is not ending tomorrow. There is plenty of time to get an education and then pioneer.
I was one of those who started pioneering shortly after high school. I was allowed to go to secretarial school for a year, but I was qualified to go to college and wish that I had.
I pioneered as long as I could until my health fell apart. It's very difficult to meet the then 100-hour-per-month quota while holding down a part-time job and trying to attend all the meetings. When I had to quit pioneering, I was left feeling like a failure and had no education.
I was fortunate in that I was able to obtain on-the-job training as a computer programmer, but that avenue is not generally open these days. I've been playing catch-up for years and I just hope that I can get enough together for a decent retirement.
Oh, and as for the lack of love you've noticed...... It's pretty pervasive. That was the major reason I became inactive...I simply did not see the love present that Jesus has described as a distinguishing mark of true Christianity.