Keep presenting it as an eccentric belief of her mom's. "Mommy believes Christmas is bad, lights are bad, gifts are bad, singing Happy Birthday is bad, etc. Daddy does not." Or whatever...
Mommy says no Christmas
by Anony Mous 19 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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Dagney
I would explain to her that Xmas is about giving to others and thinking about others. I'd incorporate together giving some "toys for tots," or donating at a local hospital, or some organization like that which she can see that giving to those in need is a good thing and part of the holiday celebration. Look for local needs and let her decide were to donate or volunteer. Make it routine and an enjoyable. It will help her think and reason and instill a different understanding other than "Xmas is bad. I don't want bad." It's hard to criticize doing good for others.
Good luck!
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DesirousOfChange
BTW: Still not disfellowshipped ;-)
That will change once Mommy tells the Elders that you're celebrating Christmas.
Doc
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GrreatTeacher
She doesn't even probably have a good idea of what Christmas really is and what it involves.
Take her for a drive to look at bright lights. Let her open presents.These things likely won't mean Christmas to her since the only thing she knows about it is that it's something bad that Mommy doesn't like.
She might have been prejudiced against Santa, though. My parents called him Phony Baloney and we laughed at all the poor children who were lied to. You might not want to do the trip to sit on Santa's lap.
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garyneal
Doubt you will be able to reason to reason with your 3 year old the way I did with my 8 year old.
Just keep showing her an alternative. I like rebel8's response, make it look like your wife's eccentric beliefs.
...we talked about Halloween and the holidays and why mommy does not celebrate. "She chooses not to celebrate because she believes that by not celebrating she is pleasing God," I said.
We talked about how different people of different faiths practiced their faith differently even though they are pleasing the same God. I asked her if she remembered the invitation she got from her Mormon friend to attend her baptism. She did so I told her that Mormons feel that they please God by not drinking coffee or sodas because of the caffeine nor do they smoke. They feel that by abstaining from these things, they keep their bodies clean and please God. "So you mean no more Dr Pepper's?" she asked. "If you and mom were Mormons I could not drink Dr Pepper?" "That's right," I said, "if mom and I were to try to raise you up as a Mormon, no soft drinks for us and no coffee for mom." She questioned about how different people's religions have different rules when they are all trying to serve the same God to which I responded, "Yeah, it does all seem a little man made, doesn't it."
...we passed by this muslim couple and my child, being 8 and naturally inquisitive began asking, "Why is that lady wearing a mask and only her eyes can be seen?" To which I replied, "Well, remember what we talked about concerning rules and pleasing God? People of the Islam or Muslim religion believe that women should remain covered from head to toe so as to show respect to their husbands or fathers and in so doing, please God." "Mom does not do that," she said. "I know, same God different rules," I replied.
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rebel8
The ideas and suggestions of cultBgone & rebel8 towards the topicstarter sounds pretty brainwashing too
I tried to understand your POV and failed. My post says to keep stating the fact that mommy has a belief so the child realizes people can have different beliefs without them being right or facts.
The dictionary disagrees with your definition.
brain wash ing
1. a method for systematically changing attitudes or altering beliefs, originated in totalitarian countries, especially through the use of torture, drugs, or psychological-stress techniques. 2. any method of controlled systematic indoctrination, especially one based on repetition or confusion: brainwashing by TV commercials. 3. an instance of subjecting or being subjected to such techniques: efforts to halt the brainwashing of captive audiences.
Factnet's definition also disagrees with your definition (coercive mind control).
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Anony Mous
Hi all,
Thanks for all the help and support. Christmas is over and it was great!
A few days after I posted this, I talked to my daughter about Christmas. Now she has never been exposed to Christmas by her family, not in school yet and so far this is her real first time she would understand what's going on. So we set up the tree, put the lights in etc. Told her there were going to be presents and asked what she would like. She had to go home after that and she hugged me and whispered "Happy holidays daddy", totally out of the blue, she must have picked it up on the radio or so, not entirely sure but until that point I was trying to keep things 'simple' by just not mentioning holidays or Christmas, this was just an activity.
After that this was our little secret. She wanted to see the tree every time, she made (crafted cardboard ornaments with lots of glitter and finger paint) "presents" for her 3 month old half-sister and my partners. We went to the toy store to see what she would like, she yelled out "I LOOOVE CHRISTMAS".
I had her Christmas Eve for the entire day, I went to pick her up and she was jumping at my car window yelling "Christmas, Christmas, Christmas". The next time I went to pick her up, she looked like she had gotten in trouble. She was very quiet, eyes down and didn't want to say anything. I just hate that mom yells at her for doing things at my house. But she forgot it soon after we got home. We actually opened the presents that day and she was playing with her new toys all day.
She loves the Frosty the Snowman movies and yesterday she was walking around like the characters in the cartoon do while singing the song. I told her the season was winding down and that we'll have to take the tree down eventually. "Mommy and grandma say Christmas tree is bad". "Do you think the Christmas tree is bad?". "NOOOO, I like Christmas tree".
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KateWild
Well done, glad you had a good Christmas.
Kate xx
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cultBgone
Inside, perhaps you read my post with some preconceived notions: The ideas and suggestions of cultBgone & rebel8 towards the topicstarter sounds pretty brainwashing too
My point was to ACKNOWLEDGE mommy's opinions rather than BELITTLE them...that daddy should NOT make fun of mommy but just acknowledge to his daughter that he understands what mommy has told her. (not yelling btw, just want to be sure you get the point)
My comment that mommy would eventually begin to look like a goofball is pure FACT. Children are not stupid and are quite capable of THINKING at the age of 3. Children do not need to be brainwashed to see the real truth around them, they are the ultimate truth seekers.
It's only people who HAVE been brainwashed that find it necessary to play mind games and attempt to warp their children's thinking.
I say it's the Watchtower bOrg who is doing the brainwashing here.