by wallievase 29 Replies latest jw friends
I am in the exactly same situation.
However at the moment I don't feel the desire or need to actively look for a new girlfriend or wife. I am concentrating on my son now.
But maybe the time will come when I fall in love again. I don't care too much if they would df me at that moment. I know for sure that my father and mother will never shun me, as they don't agree with shunning too.
All the best for your situation. You can always pm me if you want to talk.
i am in the same situation. she is ok when not in cult mode. but, when she is in cult mode...it sucks. and these people call themselves christians.
i could only hope she wakes up before we get divorced.
getting involved with this cult is the biggest mistake of my life.
GTTM
I agree with the majority here....sadly you have to cut your losses. You are right you may well get df'd if you move on, but you need to accept that it might be the only way to move on.
I am divorced and df'd, my ex cannot remarry because he divorced me unscripturally. I have lost everything, all my friends and my precious son.....but I am dating and enjoying meeting new guys. Who knows I might meet Mr Right, but for now I have moved on.
Kate xx
Report her unscriptural attitudes and behaviour to the Elders - end of!!!
Given time, she may cheat on you. That way you are free "scripturally" and you are not DFd.
Just depends on if you want to play the waiting game.
Why should you succumb to emotional blackmail from someone who obviuosly doesn't give a rat's ass about your feelings, thoughts, aspirations and standards?
Your spouse sonds just like my ex, who basically said the same things yours is saying.
Mine wanted all those things from me because it would make her look good in the eyes of other Jehovah's Witnesses. She didn't (still doesn't) care about truth or being true to one's self.
The best thing for you to do is to move on.
Make some real friends. I found out after I left the cult that there are many good, kind, loving people who aren't Jehovah's Witnesses. Some of them are Christians and some of them aren't.
Another thing I discovered after leaving is that most so-called 'worldlings' are a lot nicer, make better friends and don't stab you in the back like many in Jehover's organisation do on a regular basis and then claim they are 'imperfect' when you find out about their duplicitous behavior.
I am not sure if I posted on any of your threads before but I have something similar happening now. Just yesterday, and other times before, my wife was trying her hardest to get me to say I want a divorce. She kept saying she wanted to talk but the only thing she would keep saying was 'what do you want'. I finally said I want what is best for our daughter and I don't know what that is but it seems to be her having both her parents. Finally whe came out with what she really wanted, although not directly. She said, 'i will try to stay bit i don't do well like this'. Meaning she was hoping I would say divorce and she could get what she wanted without upsetting her parents and cult leaders. She also gives me no real reason for wanting a divorce, but she tells others different reasons why she wants one depending on who she is talking to. Anyway, I feel as though I am about to ramble on about it all. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone in this sort of thing and I hope it works out in the end for you. PM me if you ever want to vent further without a full post.
I am so sorry. There was a JW article about 2 years ago that said, "You shouldn't be afraid of losing your community when you change religions." It was based on incoming (not outgoing) JWs. But, I'd give it to your wife.
THen, go see a divorce attorney ASAP. Call the local or state bar. Alot of the attorneys may give you 1/2 hour free consultation.
As difficult a situation as this is for you, take a step back and boil this down to its most basic terms:
your done being a JW.
She isnt willing to carry on a relationship with you if you are not fully engaged as a dubbie.
That seems to be it in a nut shell. The fact is you cannot force her to meet you half way, which it seems like you are willing to do... its all or nothing with her. Its sad. Its wrong. But its reality. Pining away for her dosent change the basics.
There is only so much any of us can say on an internet forum to help, but for what its worth it seems you are willing to meet her halfway and attend her church with her. Shes being unreasonable and demanding you believe exactly as she does. It may be worth your time to seek counciling and get some professional help but whatever the case, i certainly wish you the best
