Couple questions....like if JW's not the right way then what is?

by world 57 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mum

  World and BeFree, welcome to the forum!

  I have heard it said that religion is like a broken mirror. Each religion has a small piece of it, but each believes it has the whole mirror.

  It turns out that the WTBTS or JW.org or whatever they call themselves these days, don't really care if you believe everything they say as long as you appear to/act like you believe it all. They can't see into your brain, so they have to go by observation, which is not valid when it comes to religion.

  In 1979, I left my JW elder husband and began to live independently. I had no argument with the beliefs of the borg at the time I left. After two years, I realized it was all smoke and mirrors, total fantasy. So, please be patient with yourself and take baby steps if necessary - that is, if you want to be free of the anxiety that follows being a JW.

  I do not regret leaving. I moved far away so I would not be harassed or bullied by the witnesses after leaving my husband. The job market was much stronger then, and I found a job easily after about 8 years of staying at home. It's not as easy nowadays, but it's easier to use the internet to help yourself find employment. If you have a "worldly" friend in another state who might take you in until you get on your feet, you might consider moving in with them.

  Do what is right and best for yourself, please.

  Best wishes.
• 

  konceptual99

  Hi World and welcome

  Some quick responses...

  if jw isn't the right religion, then which one is? Or is it basically believe in God, the bible and you'll be fine?

  If you end up deconstructing the JW faith over the coming weeks and months then don't feel you have to replace it right away. When you do look at other options start from the point of view of a child with no preconconceptions. Look at the hard evidence for all claims religions make and see if it stacks up with what we know about the world around us.

  2. i can't find any other religion who has broken thru all the racial barriers and teach the same stuff worldwide....In all honesty I do trust "most" jw if I were to stay at their house or vice versa.

  I can see the reasoning behind this. The apparent unity and immediate trust of the JW brotherhood is compeling. It is not unique however. Hospitality is surprisingly more common than you might think. Unity of thought is a red herring however. What marks true friendship and tolerance is how you are able to get along when you don't agree. Racism might not be a major issue (not unknown by any stretch of the imagination of course), but Witnesses have kept plenty of space in their hearts for homophobia, lack of compassion for those not "related" to them in the faith, shunning of ones who leave the faith through DF, DA and just becoming inactive and so on. Many Witnesses are more than happy to judge others - tolerance is not actually a strong point when you look beneath the surface.

  3. If some of you don't believe in the organization, why attack it or stand outside assemblies etc trying to spread the word of being against them, what benefit is this?

  Not many actually do this. I personally think it is generally counterproductive and in the internet age there are far more effective means of getting information to people.

  4. I have read and seen throughout history that they could have wrong teachings and that yes they have been wrong in the past about some things, jw normally say well we changed and the light got brighter. What is a good reply to that??

  Consider a couple of things. There are several instances of light "flip-flopping" from one view to another and back to the original. See jwfacts.com for more.

  Also, consider how science views "increasing light". The emergence of the scientific method, better technologies and a clear understanding of how core systems in our universe, planet and biology work mean that it is very, very, very rare for new discoveries or knowledge to completely change a previously held viewpoint. Sure, they might falsify aspects of a hypothosis or change aspects of how a subject is viewed but generally new evidence simply adds to the body of the knoweldge. It's not a u-turn.

  Compare this with JW "light". It does not add to the understanding of a topic - it rewrites the book. What was true one day becomes false the next. Previous arguments against a position are completely discarded at will when these now oppose the new "understanding". There is virtually nothing which could not be completely changed in the next WT magazine and you would simply have to accept it. Light is changed when the old light is no longer sustainable. Is any of the light really specific? You may think it is but delve beneath the hood and you will see it leaves alot of scope for future "get outs". Nothing is that detailed or specific. It's written so it sounds plausible but never is definitive and can be changed at will as future new light.

  New light is smoke and mirrors.

  5. Most JW don't even read the bible, they just automatically think its the truth and follow it no matter what. If I bring up a question to an elder they auto think I'm against it, why is this?? Honestly ....

  In the light of the above do you really need to still ask why this is? It's about control. The elders are trained to fear those who don't buy into it. That's why JWs claim unity. It's a forced unity that induces all to show lots of outward signs of acceptance. Field ministry, clothing, theocratic terms, badges of honour (pioneer, MS, elder etc). Spirituality is not measured by anything other than how well you conform to the norm. It's the elders' job to manage this at congregation level.

  All the best in your awakening!
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  Vidiot

  konceptual99 - "If you end up deconstructing the JW faith over the coming weeks and months then don't feel you have to replace it right away."

  I felt that way initially.

  By the time I'd fully faded, I'd "deconstructed" (awesome term, BTW) the JW religion enough that I thought the only group I'd feel comfortable in was Unitarian Universalisim, but even that felt a tad too "ritualish" for my comfort (what with all the candle lighting and hand-holding).
• 

  gda

  hang in there world!

  The eyelids hurt when they are opening after years or a lifetime of sleep. Let your pupils adjust to the real light. In time the colors of the rainbow will astound you.
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  Separation of Powers

  I appreciate your dilemma and many of us here have had similar questions....in order to get to the crux of the issue, you must be ready to ask yourself one simple question....

  what if there is no right way?

  If you are willing to accept the answer....then you have probably left the Witness mindset and freed yourself from the slavery that is fear and guilt.

  Examine the basis of the Bible, BEFORE you ask THAT question....

  Old Testament, a group of writings that describe God as a vengeful, bloodthirsty, petty being whose idea of justice is the genocide of entire tribes of people while, at the same time, allowing his OWN PEOPLE to suffer slavery for over 400 years, then when freed, punishes them for not having faith for another 40 years "wandering" in the desert eating manna and being bit by poisonous snakes. How does God expect them to react? They had been abandoned and NOW HE DECIDES TO HELP.....interesting God...

  New Testament, a group of writings that depict a saviour whose main idea is love....kindness, compassion....does he represent the God of the Old Testament...hardly. Does the ORG of today represent the same saviour, Jesus? Is it known for kindness, love and compassion? Go back to the Awake article of May 22 1994 and ask yourself THAT question...Look at how little they do for anyone outside of their group....while amassing millions of dollars in real estate holdings and capitalizing on the tax breaks for a charitable institution....

  Sorry, but they have weighed and measured themselves and come out wanting.....
• 

  skeeter1

  Welcome to a new part of your spiritual journey.

  I am not going to answer any of your questions. I don't know the ultimate "black & white" answer. I will tell you what I've found out. Those who t claim to speak of absolute authority and knowledge on things in another world, cause the most harm to others who obey them. Those who don't pretend to know every answer to another world, do not cause such harm.

  Skeeter

  p.s. I do disagree with you that the Faithful and Discreet Slave who acts as Jehovah's direct communication with mankind since 1914, has always been a panacea of racial harmony. http://www.freeminds.org/african/discrimination.htm
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  Vanderhoven7

  It is sperculation to say there is one right religion and presumption to claim you know/have it. Jesus did not call us to find the right religion, but to find Him, who is the trruth. Jesus saves independant of religion or organization. No one comes to Jehovah through an organization.
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  Watchtower-Free

  

  https://www.facebook.com/groups/Excult/
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  Giordano

  Welcome Befree and World! Racism is still practiced in the JW world.....against the Sisters. Qualified loving sisters are shown little respect by the WTBTS. Their considerable gifts are not recognized by the society. Because of this the Society operates with half of it's brain.

  At a certain point, I am sad to say, being a JW may have been my whole life. I knew myself by what others said about me. I was called Brother by hundreds, a description that was sweet to my ears. I knew my place and rank in the organization. We were an army of Christians and everybody in an army has a place and rank. My expectations were limited and so they were always filled. I was comfortable with my beliefs because they were absolute, immutable, never changing with time......... or so I thought. I was content............until I wasn’t.

  I was in my early twenties and my frontal cortex (my brain) was still maturing. I was no longer the 16 year old boy who decided to get Baptized because it was expected. Because my witness friends were getting baptized........... because there was this really cute sister.

  I must confess.....I am a reader. “you read too much.” I was told. But what I read slowly changed me in wondrous ways because knowledge is a good thing to base decisions on. So there came a time when I had to admit that the ‘truth’ was murky, questionable often embarrassing.... even silly............ this was different then learning the truth about the truth. It’s history, it’s failed prophecies and reckless treatment of it’s follower’s health, and schooling. The ‘truth’ it turned out was not by any means an empty vessel............... it was and is filled to the brim with.............. too many untruths. I did a slow fade (about two years). I was not in a rush as I bailed out one cup of failed truth I poured in a cup of fresh new knowledge. Eventually the water became clearer.

  I became more observant about the ‘friends’ and started really looking at ‘worldly’ people who would one day be my new friends. I became More critical about WT rationalizations and how the Society excused old truth by falling back on a stunning misinterpretation of Proverbs 4:18. I read more............ this was the era well before the internet so reading anything and everything was crucial to building a world view. And in reading I discovered new truths and new concepts most of which did not have to be absolute. Good became good enough and I understood that I didn't need to be perfect. Kindness would do in a pinch.

  Finally there came a time when my vessel was full of real knowledge not the 19th century nonsense that is at the heart of WTBTS beliefs. I stopped believing in nonsense And with my wonderful wife we made our exit. Because of my experience and through others on this forum....... I am not a big fan of the dramatic exit. When possible, which is not always the case, I think it's better to get things sorted out first.......... then leave ........ quietly and with a plan.

  I am honored to say I became one of those people that my former JW’s friends would now say.............. whatever happened to brother Gio? My answer, if they had ever made an attempt to find out, would have been “good things happened, we added to our education, lived free thinking creative lives. Applied critical thinking as needed. Treated people the way we wanted to be treated. Brought up a fine son without meetings and boring WT publications. I Survived open heart surgery because blood was available when it was needed. Made a bunch of good friends, got to know and love our non witness side of the family................spent our free time with our grandkids doing things they like to do. We have lived a fulfilling non J.W. life.
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  Been_There_Done_That

  Welcome,....Lots of good comments here. You are smart enough to figure it out. Many blessings.