You can't move forward to a new, more interesting, possibly much happier life, if you're still looking behind at the former life.
There is so much obsession on here about what the wtbts is doing, and discussing all the forms of injustice and bullshit in the wtbts, or how to bring down the wtbts. Yes, their doctrines are crazy and they are a cult and cruel to boot. Move on. Learn some new stuff, stuff that is true and useful and interesting. Get some new friends. Get out in the world and experience what it has to offer. If you haven't already, start making plans for the future. Not just retirement. How are you going to really get the most from being alive? Certainly not by clinging with all your might to the past. Maybe you'll have to take that trip forward alone, without your friends or family. I understand the pain of that. But living inauthentically is also painful and a sad waste of a short life.
OK, opinion expressed. Feel free to disagree, call me names, whatever. I'm speaking from the advantage of 33 years out of the wtbts, and years of observing what ex-JWs do in their lives. You aren't really an EX-jw if you're still obsessed with their world.
Sharing my opinion is meant kindly, however you may take it.