Heisenberg, I was once a carbon copy of you. Nearly a born-in, Elder, delivered parts in Assemblies, etc. I was utterly convinced that I belonged to the uniquely special people who had the truth about God and his exclusive aproval. I've lead a moral life. I snubbed 'wordly people' and believers of other religions. I could debunk every 'false teaching' using the Bible alone and had all JW chronology in my head. I led others into baptism as JW's. I never made friends outside the religion. I thought apostates were but fools and weaklings. I believed Armaggedon was around the corner, and I really cherished the prospect of living forever in an earthly paradise. I even thought that, even if the JWs had the prophecies all wrong, living the JW way of life was still the best life you could lead.
This religion took about four decades of my life. I recognize now that this religion deliberatedly caused my ability to think critically to be seriously rudimentary, incipient enough to be useless in seeing through the doctrinal lies, deceptions, and obfuscations promoted by the leadership of the Jehovah's Witnesses. I'm still learning to use my critical thinking, well into my 40's, and feel ashamed it took me so long to wake up from my coma. Like most ex-JW's the more I distance myself from JW-land, the more I see the absurdity of it all, especially the doctrinal framework that pervades every aspect of the life within the Organization and how it is used to control the individual Witnesses and erase them as individuals, making them mere cloned parts of a massive, Orwellian society.
Our ill-feelings usually aren't directed at the rank & file Witnesses; for the most part they tend to be really nice people who try their best to live up to what they believe to be 'Godly Standards'. We get frustrated because they, like most of us once, act as douchebags simply because they've been indoctrinated to believe they're special and above the rest of mankind. But then we remember that most of them don't know any better, they don't know how to be any other way. They are like a tree that grew up twisted and deformed by the wind.
However, the leadership, the Governing Body and those up in the organizational ladder don't deserve any kind words. They ought to know better and they actually know better. They know what they're doing. Whether they have become 'prisioners of a concept', or simply cogniscent conmen, these men deserve to be considered criminals, harshly criticized and opposed. They directly impact the lives of millions, and with that comes great responsability. They must be accountable and their actions thoroughly exposed. They don't deserve special reverence just because they claim to be "brothers of Christ", when their actions indicate otherwise. Sure, this also applies to many other religious leaders, but this forum is about the Jehovah's Witnesses, as I'm sure there are other forums about other religions. We gather here because this is our common background and we discuss what we have been through.
That said, welcome to this forum.
Eden