To all my congregation Elders : (page 2)

stuckinarut2

Great thread!

There is so much I can say on this topic, but I'm feeling very raw at the moment on this issue!

You're not alone....this sort of thing happens so often!

EmptyInside

Well,I am glad they don't bother visiting me. But,they are quick to visit if they suspect wrongdoing. That is what irritates me most.

I have elders in the family,and I know they are also stressed and busy themselves. I think one would actually step down as an elder. But,feels under pressure to keep going. I wish he would,because I think it would be better for his state of mind.

The other one was just appointed and young,and idealistic.

So,I see both sides of the issue.

The Searcher

My personal experience of Elders is that the majority of them are spineless, self-righteous individuals who are focussed on their "emperor's new clothes" - the mirage that they have power & authority over people's lives!

And not oncehave I ever had/heard an Elder apologise - even when they were justly reported by me to the C.O. and the Branch. Humility???

In your dreams!

Heaven

These guys are experts at emotional blackmail.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to enjoy your life... go out and have some fun and ignore their immature and abusive behaviours.

AndDontCallMeShirley

( Actually, the only time you visited was when the Circuit and District Overseers were in town. You really showed them how concerned you were about your sheep. I now know that it is more of a duty than a concern.)

This reminds me of a funny experience right before my fade began.

The C.O. arranged to go out with Elders to call on low hour/inactive Publishers. The Elders had a list of addresses, but had no idea how to find the Publisher's homes. They were driving around in circles... because they've never been to the Publisher's house!... ever. The C.O. was livid, the Elders were embarrassed only because they got caught with their pants down. The jig was up, there was no denying how woefully apathetic the Elders had been (and continued to be).

The truly maddening part is a DF person is assured of getting at least one annual visit through WT's 'reach-out-to-those-who-have-figured-us-out-and-don't-want-to-be-JWs-anymore' program. I've seen Elders faithfully get their list of DF people out, dutifully call on each one (not stopping until they actually speak with them), check them off, then save the list for next year. And they remember where each one lives so they can go back in a few months (why? Becaue they can count time for it. Shepherding visits= can't count time= isn't a priority).

It amazes me how an organisation will spend countless hours and billions of dollars trying to get a new member and yet will do little if nothing to retain him.

In business, it's a commonly known fact that it takes ten times as much effort, money and time to get a new customer than to keep the ones you already have. WT hasn't figured this simple truth out yet. But, when you exist for no other purpose than to keep people busy with treadmill minutiae, and it's free labor anyway, who cares?

carla

Not being a jw I am thankful they treated you like that (sorry for your own pain though) and I hope they treat all the flock like crap more often! Maybe then more jw's will open their eyes and find the truth about the truth! Or so I am hoping but perhaps some poor jw will just keep trying harder to please the overlords, sigh, I dunno......

That's why it's a cult, there is no easy way to leave and keep friendships and family for simply using your brain and heart to make your own decisions. For a group that supposedly uses a Bible they have no concept of freedom in Christ.

sowhatnow

lol, well not to bash all the x elders, they knew they were expected to go against thier conscience, thats why they left!

its sad that a man cannot be who he really is because some organization tells him how to treat other people and leaves him no time to do the good he can do.when you thik about it, that arrangement can never work, there is only enough time in the week to work for a paycheck, and care for the familys needs

let alone involve others in our lives. some of us are lucky if we have enough time to see our own extended family members.

i try to be glad for the one person who does get the attention of someone else other than thier own mate or adult child.

piztjw

I hear them yap on in prayers about, "let the ones we see missing from the meeting know we love them and miss them," yet they NEVER offer to call or drop by. They pray to be heard by men, and serve to be seen by men. Hypocrites is what they all are.

piztjw

@LongHairGal

I made the mistake of trying to be supportive of a now ex-sister when she was still in who was in a similar situation as yours. We both caught hell from the eldurrs. They thought it was better that she be treated as you described and be pushed out, than to be treated with respect and compassion and want to remain in. Turns out it was better for both of us that we are both now either fully out, or at least only physically in for now.

Oubliette

SCENE: Chance encounter with a JW while out shopping

JW, enthusiastically: "Hey, how are you? I've missed you!"

ME, skeptically: "Really? My phone number hasn't changed ...."

JW, flustered for a moment, but then attempting a recovery: "Well, the phones work both ways you know!"

ME: "That's right. They do. I called you last February. Your wife answered the phone. You were 'out in the ministry.' I heard her tell you it was me and I heard you tell her to tell me that you'd call me back. Do you remember?"

JW, sheepishly: "Um, yeah. I do."

ME: "So how've you been?"

JW: "Busy .... "

To all my congregation Elders :

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