We're off to Florida!

by ISP 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • ISP
    ISP

    Yep we leave tommorrow! It would be nice to meet some of you mean apostate type folk that deserve everlasting death etc. etc. etc.
    BTW I got this mailed to me. I know some of the reasons but some are still mysteries....

    1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

    2. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

    4. Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?

    5. Why is abbreviated such a long word?

    6. Why is a boxing ring square?

    7. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

    8. Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?

    9. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

    10. Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on Start?

    11. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you
    turn
    down the volume on the radio?

    12. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing
    liquid
    made with real lemons?

    13. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    14. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

    15. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    16. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

    17. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    18. If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty
    litter?

    19. If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times does
    he
    become disoriented?

    20. Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

    21. What do people in China call their good plates?

    22. What do you call a male ladybug?

    23. What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

    24. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    25. Why do they call it a pair of pants, but only 1 bra?

    26. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

    27. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't
    drink
    and drive?

    28. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

    29. Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?

    30. Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of
    parachutes?

    31. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?

    32. Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

    33. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

    34. If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it
    have
    locks on the door?

    35. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
    Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

    36. If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what
    does a freedom fighter fight?

    37. If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?

    38. If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

    39. If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your
    headlights
    on, what happens?

    40. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

    41. Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called
    shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

    42. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    43. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    44. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

    45. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal

    46. Should heavy smokers use lighter fuel.

    ISP
  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    ISP and family

    Have a safe flight over and give me a call when you get here! We're all looking forward to hopefully being able to hook up while you're here...yay, more apostate fun!

    Dana

  • Simon
    Simon

    Have a good time! I'm sure you will have a great time (lucky b***ard, escaping all this Jubilee nonsense)

    oh, and bring us something nice back ... maybe a dolphin from SeaWorld

  • cellomould
    cellomould

    ISP,

    Dana has offered the possibility of 'hooking up' with you. You are a lucky guy!

    cellomould

    "My toes taste really good" J.R. Brown

  • ISP
    ISP

    Thanks Dana...I will call as soon as.

    Simon....all I can say is.................enjoy the jubilee!!!! lol

    Cellomould....I am lucky!

    ISP

  • nowaytess
    nowaytess

    There is an XJW meeting this weekend if you like to join us.

    It is Saturday and Sunday June 1&2 in apokla, fl near Orlando.

    Just email me for information

    [email protected]

  • nowaytess
    nowaytess

    Sorry folks the meeting got cancelled.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Have a great trip ISP & family!

    Looking forward to your return!

    Love, Scully

  • VeniceIT
    VeniceIT

    I wish I could make it, but this weekend just won't work out!!! ahhh maybe another time???

    Have some corned beef and cabbage for me will ya hahhaha

    ven

  • LDH1
    LDH1

    ISP and fam:

    Did you enjoy your visit to that pinnacle of American Society, Disneyland?

    Why not go to Euro Disney, or even better, Afghanistan?

    Lisa

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