Yesterday, my ex husband and I took our 9 year old daughter to camp for the first time. Delaney was bouncing off the walls with excitement, mom and dad were secretly dreading the departure while smiling and acting happy for her sake (we're good at that ).
Once we checked her in, we had to hike thru the woods to her bunk and I am talking WOODS here! This place is out in the middle of nowhere and the path wound thru deep oak hammocks...truly beautiful. As we were walking, I couldn't help but compare my daughter's childhood to mine. When I was a kid, I often escaped into books, and I loved reading about adventures that took place in a summer camp...I dreamed of being able to go to one but of course, as a JW, that was out of the question. Despite my reluctance and anxiety at leaving Delaney with strangers for 5 days, I was also happy and gratified that her father and I are able to make one of her dreams come true.
She will be up early in the mornings, taking care of horses, mucking the stables, grooming, feeding, washing, and then later riding. After lunch comes time spent in the pool, making new friends and sharing that special bond that girls away from home and parents enjoy. Evenings are filled with dinner and then bonfires in the woods, roasting marshmallows and singing camp songs. For those of us who, as little girls, were absolutely horse crazy and also longing for the slice of independence that time at a camp would allow, this is a dream come true. I cannot describe the feelings I experienced meandering thru the woods, along a path marked by blazes on a tree...the chirping of the crickets, the deep but natural silence that comes from being far away from honking horns and the brush of tires on the road. The only sounds were those of the forest critters and, occassionally, the high pitched voices of excited girls.
On the long trip home, my ex and I discussed our children and his current girlfriend, who seems to love our kids as much as another person is capable of loving children not her own. My life has not turned out as I imagined that it would. 4 years ago, in the pain and anger of dealing with sex abuse and my unexpected exit from the borg, I never would have thought that I would find myself calmly leaving my daughter in a strange place, with "worldly people" and trusting that she would be alright or that I could calmly, without pain, talk to the father of my children about his current love.
I am grateful, more than I can say, that my children are able to live "normal" lives and have experiences that will provide them with skills I never was able to develop as a child growing up in the borg.
Life sure does turn out funny sometimes, but overall life is good.
Dana
