Dana,
Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience. It warmed my heart.
I know for myself, giving my children a more normal life than I had has been very healing for myself.
I remember the my daughters 7th birthday "party". I'm not very good at planning such things and did my best to put something together for her. Her birthday is at the end of August, and where we live it's extremely hot and usually very humid that time of year and many families are out of town.
Anyway, my Mom got her a decorated cake and there were plenty of presents. There was just Me, hubby, her brother, my Mother and Step-father plus a few kids from the neighborhood. We all sang happy birthday to her and the look she had on her face was priceless.
She opened her presents and we all gorged ourselves with cake and icecream. It was very simple and no frills. I felt like I had let her down. Some parties kids have nowadays can be downright extravagant. Later, after everyone left, and I was cleaning up, she came up and hugged me. Quietly, she told me "Mom, I loved my party".
When I told my Mom about it the next day, I broke down crying. I was overwhelmed with emotions at being able to give something to my daughter that I had always desired so much as a child, but never got because it was suppose to mean my doom at Armageddon.
On another happier note. I was also a horse crazy kid. I got my first when I was 7. Eventually, I got a showhorse when I was 10. A beautiful Mahogany Bay Quarter Horse gelding. I spent many days mucking and raking because I lived on a horse ranch for a period of time. My weekends were usually spent at horse shows. It was fun, but also alot of work!
Also sounds like you and your Ex-spouse have your heads on straight when it comes to the raising of your kids. Good for you!
Andee