There are times when Ilook back fondly on my days in the Witnesses, especially when I think on the congregation get togethers we would have every once in awhile (not too often) People from our hall and sometimes others would show up (not too many) and good times were had by all. This is how the schedule usually went.
8pm: Arrive at the Community Centre
8:05pm: Scope the room. Look for chicks
If chicks found, rate said chicks in the Naeblis hotness ratio.
Start at the hottest chick, work your way down (if a hot chick sees you get blown off by a not so hot chick your whole night is over)
If no chicks found. Scope room for guys to fight. Rate guys in order of supposed toughness. Pick out toughtest guy. Give him the Naeblis glare.
8:30: Party is going nowhere. Chicks all hate you. Too many elders to fight properly. Night rapidly spinning out of control.
8:45: Slip out of the hall while everyone is distracted by the musical chairs. Drink 40 of rye underneath your car.
9:15: Enter the community hall reeking of rye. Insist on playing musical chairs though the game is long over. Body check 10 year old girl.
9:30: After short talk with parents where they promise to "discuss this further later" participate in bible games taking place. Answer Moses to every question and laugh uproariously. Pretend to BE moses. As you're walking up to the buffet, part the crowd with a hockey stick, slashing at people's shins.
10:30: Everyone is singing Kingdom Melodies outside by the bonfire. Loudly inform everyone that the bonfire has pagan connections and refuse to participate. Sob to yourself quietly, every now and again trying to convince people to abandon their apostacy.
11:00: Make off with the half in the bag Elder's wife.
11:04: Return satisfied.
11:20: Go home happy and fulfilled, glad to be a part of such a wonderful group of people.