Do your parents still talk to you? (page 3)

KPL

I was DF 2 years ago and at first my parents flipped out. My father wouldn't alk to me, which was hard, becuase my mother was minding my kids for the summer when it happened. I would come to pick them up, and he would leave the room or act like I wasn't there. My mother talked to me, but very little. For the first year my parents never called me or spoke to me much, my mom would make dinner for the kids and she would save me a plate to take home but wouldn't invite me to eat with them. i am grateful they didn't cut me off completly because out of thier 5 kids, I had been the closest too them for years, becuse my brother and I were the only ones still in the Borg. My brother is now inactive and they have no children attending with them. I was talking to my mother a few months ago and we got on the subject of my DFing. I told her how I felt when it happened, how I had felt abandoned when i was going through the divorce and how I had lived 5 minutes from the hall and not ONCE had anyone stopped by to talk to me. I had started seeing someone a year after the divorce and THEN the elders wanted to meet with me. They were only interessted in putting an end to things. She really listened and I think she finally understood and agreed. Recently on the kids school vacation, I went to pick them up and she was cooking dinner, she asked me to stay while she cooked and then sat down with me and ate! That small move meant so much to me. She and my father have finally been more loving, calling me and talking to me again. I hope they are finally opening thier eyes to how wrong shunning loved ones is.

You can serve God without serving the
"Organization"

Incense_and_Peppermints

nope. my family will have nothing to do with me, now that i have left and speak out against the wts. they actually hate me now. i used to care, very deeply. now i am actually glad not to have anything to do with them. they made comments like 'good, maybe they'll all kill each other' when the wtc went down. and they make comments like this (from an actual website by a 'good' witness, my niece [my edits for the purposes of this post are in braces]:

9.) What do you think of drugs and alcohol?: Drugs are our friends (better living through chemistry). I think recreational pharmaceuticals however, are Satanic. <--- [they are all on xanax, paxil, prozac, and heavy drinkers. oh-kaay.]

10.) If you could say one thing to your enemy, what would it be?: Oh, Armageddon will be SO sweet, you guys <---[9 billion people wiped out. i wonder if jesus would say 'armageddon will be so sweet'?]

12.) Are you for world peace?: I hope it comes very soon now. It will without a doubt, I just want to be there to see it, all the injustices righted, and the jerks gone. <---[i wonder when the witnesses will ever stop buying into this idiocy. what happened to 1975?]

13.) What do you think about school?: I think it will soon be obsolete. The technology already exists for kids to learn so much at home. I guess the only thing that would be lacking would be interaction with other kids – no, wait! That’s what’s bad about school! <---[how sad. there's something almost despicable about people who think education is a waste of time.]

Anyway, that was from one of the gazillion surveys they send each other to complete, for fun. woo-hoo. any parent, especially a mother, who chooses a religion or anything on this planet over her own child doesn't deserve them. my son could grow up to be a hatchet murderer and i would still stand by him. what freakshows...

StinkyPantz

I was disfellowshipped a few months ago. After it happened I wrote my parents a very long letter which shared some of my very fond memories from my childhood (nothing JW related). I told them how deeply I loved them and said that I wanted to remain a part of their lives. I thought that surely after they read my letter (that I cried while writing), they'd accept me. But unfortunately this is not so. I have talked to my older brother once since I got df'd and I doubt he will ever talk to me again. My mother only talks to me when she has to and my dad not at all. My little brother (13) still gives me hugs and tells me he loves me though when I see him. I guess he's not fully brainwashed, but we were really close anyway. I write to them monthly and tell them how much I love and miss them and what's going on in my life (I never get a reply). I don't call because it might make them uncomfortable.... It sucks! I wish it didn't have to hurt so bad.

StinkyP

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer"

Incense_and_Peppermints

what an awesome post. i have met some really cool people on the internet (and off) and formed beautiful friendships. the net's a good thing when you go to the right places. and this is one of the right places in cyberspace. i love reading these posts. many of them are tragic, but they also reflect my own experience, and that is comforting. i want to throw my arms around each and every one of you.

peace out,
~peppermints

scootergirl

stinky it hurts for quite awhile........for me I went thru a grieving process. It still hurts at times but I think I have this "fantasy" of what it would be like to have normal relationship with normal parents.

I wrote my mother a letter via email awhile back explaining why I never will return to the jw and the main reason is I will never belong to an organization that would make me chose between my faith and my children. I have three and NOTHING could make me turn and walk away from them. NOTHING. My kids know that too......they never have to be afraid to tell me anything. They never have to be afraid to be who they are. Never be afraid of abandonment. That is just one thing I can't understand. It brings tears to my eyes to think of having to chose and yet making that choice to walk away from your own children.

~Christy

Incense_and_Peppermints

StinkyP, your post was so touching. it's a terrible thing that they could ignore you this way. it seems surreal. i still cannot fathom how they can be brainwashed this way. the part about your little brother really got to me. my little brother got out, thank god, and he and i have each other at least as our link to the past - our shared history. the witnsses suck with a capital 'f'. you may not believe this, but i care enormously. so does, probably, everyone else here. because we've all been victimized by these people. all have a story about fractured families, phobias, emotional disturbances, trying to make or rebuild a life for ourselves with no survival skills taught to us at all, etc. talking about it may be all we have, but it's what they hate- survivors telling the rest of the world the real truth about them. the one thing that finally made me able to recocile their shunning of me was thinking about their warped ideas about life and spirituality, and for their fellow 'worldly' human beings. when i began doing that, it sort of crystalized for me how jacked they were, and how i am better off without that tyranny in my life. your brother's love may be enough to make him see them for what they are, enabling him to get out one day.

love love,
~peppermints

Incense_and_Peppermints

oops. got the name wrong. the 'tell it scooter' post should have said 'tell it Beck_Melbourne'. a thousand apologies...

endoftheline

They avoided me like grim death until I made them grandparents. And then, they b/c all nice in a fake way to try and get to him. It was such a shame - I was exceptionally close to my mother and I (still)miss her horribly - as does she. My wife parents make up for it somewhat - but tis not the same.

end

WildHorses

It always breaks my heart to read post such as these. As i've stated many times before. I am the only one in my family who ever became a JW.

Through out my childhood and teen years I have done many terrible things to my mom(kid stuff), but I know that there is nothing I could do that would ever make her stop talking to me.

I know it doesn't help much but. I just want to give you all a big warm loving (((((((((((((((((((((((Hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Lilacs

scootergirl

lilacs.......it does help. Thanks!

~Christy

Do your parents still talk to you?

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