I can't say what 'awakened' me exactly, but when I heard about the theory of us picking up the bones of men after the Big A stumbled me...heavily. The fact that JW's can just sit and smile about doing yardwork in order to make way for paradise was all sorts of f*cked up. Also, the 1914 chronology really got to me as well, and I think that is what woke me up officially. The false 1919 doctrine got be "blinking" and that made me question the FDS, in which after I found out that I really wasn't "allowed" to, that is when I was fully cognizant of the Machine I am in. I am more founded in secular than WT knowledge, but with the oncoming knowledge in regards to the way WT handles pedophiles and other contradictions within WT theology (THANK YOU BASED BLONDIE), I am growing from infantile to mature in WT BS.
What was your crisis
by JG 38 Replies latest jw friends
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panhandlegirl
The main thing was the statement that only the 144,000 had a Mediator. I felt that if I did not have Jesus as a my Mediator, I had nothing. I did not agree with that belief because I did not feel it was supported by the Bible. After reading "Crisis of Conscience" and learning that I was not the only one the disagreed with the org regarding the belief about Jesus being the Mediator of only the 144,000, I lost all confidence in the org. After that, I no longer trusted anything the org had to say, so I started comunicating with others who had left the borg and learned more about how the borg was not in line with the Bible. I am so glad I had the brains to leave,although I have paid a high price for that decision. I am an outcast, no one in my family has spoken to me since 1982 except for once at my mother's (a JW) funeral and another to yell at me for calling them to tell them to keep out of my personal business. Now, I am fine, although I wish I had a relationship with my family, I realize it will never happen.I am just thankful that left the borg before my children got baptized. We, my two children and I, are out and doing well.
PHG
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panhandlegirl
My crisis of conscience happened in Spain after being counselled by an elder against helping African boat people (refugees, mainly women with babies).
I was told not to offer material help but only Bible Studies as they might come into the truth for the wrong reasons.
I cannot imagine anyone counseling you aganist helping those in need. In my opinion, material help is as important as spiritual help. How can you appricate spiritual help when you are hungery, in danger of losing your present life, or in need of other material help!! The borg's thinking just does not conicide with what Jesus taught or critical thinking.
PHG
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Sammy Jenkis
My mother was df'd for some bullshit while there were fornicators and drug users among the congregation- that was one of the first moments I realized something was off. Then a few years later I was listening to this song by Immortal Technique called "Leaving the past" where he says "it's a bad decision to blindly follow any religion."
That was the moment where I finally realized that I didn't know anything about my religion besides the things they themselves taught me, so I did a quick internet search and stumbled upon jwfacts.com. The sex abuse was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back that started my fun path far away from the JW's.
And the rest is history, surprise!
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SloppyJoe
For me it was good old America Online! I was just a teenager growing up in the mid 90s and the internet was a foreign concept to me. Then I discovered a chatroom called JWs and Friends in AOL's chatroom list. After being there looking for girls lol, there were many apostates in the room as well. I already had some type of doubt going on because although I wouldn't "talk" by typing to them I would read what they had to say. Eventually I got on this site, freeminds, read Crisis of Conscience and here I am nearly 20 years later, still attending meetings and going out and service lol. While I know many people on here would think I am nuts for never leaving, after a few years of HATING anything to do with the religion I realized, that a fade or leaving would mean leaving my entire family forever. My whole family, aunts and uncles on both sides of my family are all witnesses, so I would have to give it all up. My family actually is close and get along very well. For me knowing the truth about everything makes it easier in the sense that I never felt guilty ever again, never worried about being destroyed. It gave me a sense of inner peace knowing that although I have to sit through 2 meetings a week, hey at least it isn't still 3, and go out in service irregularly, no one will bother me and I don't lose anything. I went to college, got a good job, and do everything that I enjoy doing. Ironically I married a witness woman who is more of an apostate that I am and she never read any books or web sites. So now we get to laugh about what people do and say. It isn't the most ideal situation but I have accepted it and moved on as for me it is the least painful.
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Sammy Jenkis
Good for you sloppy joe.
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144001
I exited the WTBTS prison when I was in my early teens, because I hated it so much that I no longer feared the inevitable beatings that I expected for leaving. It came to the point where I'd rather be beaten daliy than go to a meeting or out in service.
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panhandlegirl
You young people have shown so much more guts than some of us older ones that it gives me reason for hope that maybe we can defeat this loathsome organization. Those of us who never knew anything else but the Borg stayed in too long thinking we would live forever in paradise. What a joke!! Thanks to the Internet I now know I am not the only one who thinks this org is a lying org who does not have any connection with God.
PHG
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Amelia Ashton
The reasoning was the Red Cross and the Spanish government would help these poor desperate women and their babies materially and we should leave that side of things to them.
The children had no toys and the women had no handbags, make-up etc. or any "nice things" and what about friendship? Every-one needs a friend especially in a foreign country when to save your life you had to risk it in an unseaworthy vessel knowing 50% die trying.
We weren't supposed to get too close or "care" about them. Some of these women and children had been set on fire by husbands who no longer wanted them.
It was all very horrid and the WT attitude stank. IMO