"50 Ways To Leave The 'Hovas"

by Mister Biggs 22 Replies latest social humour

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Remember the song, '50 Ways To Leave Your Lover' by Paul Simon?
    Well, I tweaked the lyrics a tad bit. (I even incoporated our very own Simon's name into it...Simon and Paul Simon...Oh, the irony!)
    Enjoy...

    "The problem is all inside your head", Simon said to me.
    "The answer is easy if you take it logically
    I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
    There must be fifty ways to leave the Hova's"

    He said "It's really not my habit to intrude,
    Furthermore I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued.
    So I repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
    There must be fifty ways to leave the Hovah's...
    Fifty ways to leave the Hovah's."

    "Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan,
    Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me!
    Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much,
    Just drop off the (Kingdom Hall) key, Lee, and get yourself free."

    Simon said "It grieves me so to see you in such pain.
    I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
    I said, "I appreciate that, but would you please explain about the fifty ways..."

    He said, "Why don't you just sleep on it tonight
    And I believe, in the morning you'll begin to see the light."
    And then he shook my hand and I realized he probably was right
    There must be fifty ways to leave the Hovah's...
    Fifty ways to leave the Hovah's

    "Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan,
    Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me!
    Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much,
    Just drop off the (Kingdom Hall) key, Lee, and get yourself free."

  • MikeMusto
    MikeMusto

    what does Jay-Z have to do with the WTS

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Good one, Musty!

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    ROTFLMAO just at the title of this thread.

    Mr. Biggs, I love that song and could easily relate to your lyrics. Thanks for sharing.

    Hugs,
    j2bf

  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    So funny! So appropriate!

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman

    How about:

    Get disfellowshipped, Chip.
    Disassociate, Nate.
    Or just fade away, Jay.
    Just get yourself free...

    Tom

    "Gentlemen, he said, I don't need your organization, I've shined your shoes, I've moved your mountains and marked your cards. But Eden is burning"
    --Bob Dylan
  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Neon-

    Great changes!!!

    We gotta come up with some more.

    (Thanks, Joy and Dutchie!)

  • Makena1
    Makena1

    Great stuff! Poetry was never my strong point in Eng Lit, but here goes:

    Disagree with the GB, Marie
    Surf the ex-dub net, Chet
    Lie to the JC, Lee
    just get yourself free!

    and some "seamier verses"

    Have premarital sex, Rex
    Three to a bed, Ted
    Get caught whorin', Orin
    just get yourself free

    Mak

    Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite--but they all worship money.
    - Mark Twain

  • LDH
    LDH

    Get a blow-job, Rob
    Watch MTV, Lee
    Read Ray Franz' stuff, Duff!
    just get yourself free!

    Get a tattoo, Drew
    Eat birthday cake, Jake
    Donate ALL YER BLOOD, Judd
    Just listen to me!

    Masturbate, Nate
    Wear a cross, Hoss
    Buy a Christmas tree, Lee
    Just get yourself free!

    Lisa

  • MikeMusto
    MikeMusto

    how bout..

    stop it biggs... i whoopa u ass
    if you show rhaman again...
    cuz it got to go to .class ...ummm..ok

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit