AM I NORMAL?

bay64me

I have been meeting-free for a year now, (although I did attend the last memorial mainly out of curiosity). I have learned enough now, since leaving "the truth" to know that i'm never going back. But I was wondering how long it takes to get all of the shit out of your head? I've been into chatrooms, visited exjw sites, recently come here,read plenty and i'm thinking maby i'm getting to be as obsessed with exjw issues as I once was obsessed with being a jw! I don't feel like I can ever be 'normal' again! It feels like i've gone from one extreme to the other and i'd rather be somewhere in the middle. I have soooooooooo much anger and resentment and heaps of sadness, its almost too much to bear at times and I really don't know how to deal with it. I'm interested to know how others dealt with their feelings and emotions. Is it usual to feel the way I do? Am I normal?

Quotes

It feels like i've gone from one extreme to the other

I hear that! Although recently I feel that I have become addicted to this $*%^@ Discussion Board... it is such a good source of information, I find it hard to disconnect.

I can only imagine that I will feel "normal" if/when my parents & siblings have been released. Until then, I must continue "spreading the truth about "The Truth (TM)".

===========================
For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out: http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

obiwan

I don't know how long you were in so here goes,Ive been out for 12 years and I still fight with it.This is something that follows you all
your life I think.It's something you deal with as best as you can and
try to move on.Getting informed helps this,for me it's a part of my life that will reocurr with certain events.I feel we all are as normal
as normal can get with this type of history.

WOW It's a wide open world,use your
own thoughts.

Francois

I was born in the troof and left it and most of my family when I was in my mid-twenties. I am now 57. And I can still get furious about my treatment at the hands of: the GB and it's stupid interpretations; my family for being so brain-dead; my "friends" who couldn't reason their way out of a paper bag. I did bring three friends, my ex-wife and my children out with me, though.

I think that we all have an inborn desire - brought by an increasing awareness of the indwelling spirit - for truth, beauty, and justice. And when we are made to suffer the loss of so much, of so many, it outrages our sense of justice. And an outraged sense of justice can only be assuaged by having justice finally done. Since it's not forthcoming, the outrage remains.

You might agree that little children in their innocence are extremely sensitive to injustice. Consider that we are relative spiritual children of the universe, and because of this our sensitivity to injustice is enormous.

The fact that the injustice was done by a group of isolated, self-righteous, holier-than-thou, smug, conscending old men in New York who claim to speak for God just makes it worse. Our "inner knower" knows better than to accept the idea that these frauds speak for God.

We are likely to be angry until spiritual justice is forthcoming. However, if we're wise, we can use this anger for good. Gandhi said that anger conserved could be turned into an irresistible driving force. And that's how I handle mine. I use it to motivate my personal ministry of warning of the dangers of this divisive cult. I hope you can find similiar release.

Francois

Marilyn

I was born in the troof and left it and most of my family when I was in my mid-twenties. I am now 57. And I can still get furious about my treatment at the hands of: the GB and it's stupid interpretations; my family for being so brain-dead; my "friends" who couldn't reason their way out of a paper bag. I did bring three friends, my ex-wife and my children out with me, though.
_____________________________________________________________________
Yikes! Someone who's been "out" longer than me!! Francious I always love reading your posts - I had no idea you have been out so long. It seems your situation is very much like mine. e.g. "I can still get furious about my treatment at the hands of: the GB and it's stupid interpretations; my family for being so brain-dead; my "friends" who couldn't reason their way out of a paper bag."

TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!! Admittedly 'the law of deminishing returns' takes care of some of the emotions - but it's difficult not to live in the past and remember the family as they were, pre dubdom. I am often totally incredulous that one or two of my siblings haven't thought their way out of the Org. I just don't get how they can subject themselves to it, year in, year out ... all this time (I left in 1979!).

As for bay64me, change is always difficult. Since leaving the Org, I have moved around a few times, including living in an entirely new culture. I've learned that it takes at least two years to acclimatise to a new life style. And that's a conservative estimate. It takes time to build up new friends, activities and hobbies to fill in the void left by the WT treadmill. There is nothing wrong with hanging out here obsessively for as long as you feel the need. You will cool off in time. When you are ready to move on, you will find the fascination less intense. Then you will graduate to a more moderate approach - like mine or Francois. BUT, you will probably never fully recover from the WT experience. You just have to learn to live with it - and work hard to find other aspects of life that fulfil you.

Marilyn

Elsewhere

Almost anyone who leaves the bOrg goes through a phase in which he is Abby Normal (Sorry, just had to make a Young Frankenstein reference )

In my opinion, this has to do with not having an object to direct justified anger and frustration at. Because of the way the bOrg is structured and behaves, there is no recourse, short of violence, for a grievance... they simply ignore you. To add insult to injury they also compel your friends and family to shun you.

This causes people to become even more frustrated and angry. This also explains why people here spend a great deal of time venting their anger.

Personally, venting my anger here has helped me a great deal.

"As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
Believe in yourself, not mythology.
<x ><

mustang

I've been out for almost 30 years. I did the slow drift thing. And as another said, I STILL FIGHT WITH IT.

But I'm slightly different. If the others in my family are happy with it, OK. And they generally have made their decisions and leave the others alone.

And I would have been done with it about 20 years ago....

Except my Old Man is the zealot from Hell and tries to make everybody do it his way, regardless. So, I just spent 20 yrs. avoiding him. Now, with these I-net resources I'm fighting back!!!

Maybe, just maybe, if you have a battle to fight, you can do it more efficiently with the I-net support groups and get back to GETTING ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!

Mustang

Soledad

I've been out for only 4 years now, my participation in chat rooms and message boards such as this one has been a recent occurrence for me...everyone is difference I suppose. I know that people who have some serious grievances against the WTS will take a longer time to overcome the anger and sadness, if at all. I dont think you are abnormal at all though.