Hello everyone. I am relatively new to the board and have to say have NEVER had such a heartwarming welcome from so many people! It feels so comforting to make new friends that "understand" where I have come from.
I have read many many stories, and have sat back in awe....wow, what stories. Mine is quite simple, but none-the-less my story.
My mother was introduced to the "Truth" around 1975. I remember a very kind woman named Nancy coming to our door and preaching to my mom about the "end of the times". Shortly following this, our family endured two tragedies that allowed the witnesses to offer support to us. First, my sister, Rachel, was born and lived a very very short time. Secondly, our house burnt to the down. These two incidents I feel are very significant in the beginning of our family's involvement w/the Org. My parents started attending regularly and life as I remembered it started to change. I remember being in 3rd grade and no longer celebrating the holidays or birthdays. I remember not saluting the flag anymore. I remember not being able to play w/kids in the neighborhood anymore.
Fast forward to my teen years. I felt that I was a good kid. Got good grades in school. Very active in the KH activities. I went door to door on Saturdays (always LOVED having to take the door of a fellow classmate!)and studied for the meetings. I would pioneer in the summers and had parts in dramas at the conventions. Here's where I get stuck in my story......
My mother and I had a relationship that was very up and down. My dad was an over the road truck driver and would be gone for many days at a time (oh how I would miss him), and for some reason, Mom and I just would clash. We could be the best of friends and then be the best of enemies. She had her problems......I truely believe problems that had nothing to do w/the JWs but the JWs helped feed her dysfunctions and warped thinking. She was very controlling. Very controlling. Funny thing is I don't remember much......hence, why this part of my story goes blank. It is like years are just wiped from my mind.
I really believed in the "truth" at one time. My life revolved around it....
I can't believe this. I have to stop. I can't believe how difficult it is to just tell my story w/out getting choked up. Maybe this is all I need to write for now and will continue later...guess maybe what I thought was all resolved just isn't yet. I start to think about it and I can actually feel what I felt way back then. I have to keep reminding myself that I am "free"....
...to be continued.
~Christy
You know when healing's occurred when you can remember when you want to and forget when you choose.-Bessel van der Kolk