by Wendy 106 Replies latest jw friends
farkel,
It could be that you know someone on a personal level and find they are not really as they present themselves on a public forum. There is a bitter taste in is your mouth then, knowing the person on a 3rd dimensional level. You find that that person is not as they present. The fact is Time will tell, a person's TRUE character will shine through for those who are willing to see it. So such is life I guess...time does not stop for anybody
wendy
This is really interesting - and brings an important point in how we consider others.
Quotes:
Hilliary: I feel sure that the most bitter enemies on this Board would quickly become friends if they could sit down together with a bottle of wine and exchange their life experiences, hopes and fears.
Farkel: That's a fact. I've met and alternatively have had phone conversations with folks whom I've ****vigorously debated on public forums. ***** Invariably, they ALL show me who they really are when I personally speak with or meet them. (stars added)
If we can try to ****debate***** and not attack the personal character of a poster on the forum - then when we meet them, we most likely will be able to communicate. Perhaps not become the best of friends - but find a common link - like, oh say. being xjw's. As brought out, a bottle of wine & friendly exchange. Lifelong friends? Perhaps not.....but friendly communication.
But when we attack another poster - it sets up ill feelings on boths sides. True friendships can withstand arguments, difference of opinions, etc. Few friendships can withstand personal or public long term attacks.
Wendy: You find that that person is not as they present.
Lol............that would go for almost any marriage of any length of time at one time or another. Good thinking points on what we expect out of a public discussion forum. As MD once yelled "THIS IS A DISCUSSION FORUM! NOT THERAPY" (paraphrasing btw).
Peace to all.
waiting
I haven't followed this thread start to finish. I don't have the time (or interest) in following all of the 18 pages of threads that pop up everyday, nowadays. This one *did/does* interest me though.
Larc entered the thread and (to some) wanted to shit stir. I understand their interest in keeping things on an even keel as they have been for the last couple of months. Since the flushing (thanks Pete for the terminology), most of us realize and appreciate the calm that has descended on Simons Place since that time. At last, the site reached the pinnacle that Simon most likely envisioned long ago, so to the uninformed/uninitiated, Larc seemed to want to return the place to where it was weeks ago. I understand their thinking, as well as their admonition to him to cease and desist.
At the same time...
I doubt any (or very many) of those so counseling has ever had their character publicly impugned the way it was so thoroughly as Wendy did Zazu's and Larc's as she was making her leave from here to kent's on-line paradise. I'd like to think that I would be able to turn the other cheek as some recommend, but those that know me know that I would brook no such effrontery, and I totally understand Larc's interest in continuing unfinished business.
Those that know, know that Ive made my peace with Wendy. That is a fact.
As far as Im concerned, weve cleared the air over the matter of Emyrose and have gone beyond setting the stage for friendship. I've forgiven her for the stuff she's said to me and I hope she's done the same.
Still, that she (and JanH) are back here is no surprise to anyone, and her somewhat cavalier dismissal (and refusal to address) what has gone before is disappointing. We all knew how things would go on the other site. Yes... Wendy's thinking, for a time (still?) was (is?) clouded by her those who held (hold?) sway over her, but can any of us say that other people's influence over us be the sole reason for our behavior?
Do others EVER fully incur the blame what *we* do?
If *THAT* isn't a JW/ex-JW question, there are none.
Well Teejay,
Here is the deal. I was getting over the fact that Mommy/Wendy posted my personal emails to her regarding Tina's unprofessional behavior, behavor so unethical that she could lose her membership in her professional society, the Certified Medical Assistants. That was one story that was behind me. Now, the last incident was Mommy/Wendy saying, on Kent's board, that she called three colleges in the town where I said I worked and none of them had heard of me. That implies fraud, and JanH called me a fraud. So, that is why I posted many details about my life on the thread, a note to Hillary. By golly, I sure would like to see Mommy dearest post the same information about herself. You know what? I bettcha she ain't a nurse.
Larc,
Have any of the above-mentioned people apologised for their actions?
Larc, do you know what really SUCKS about unfinished business?
It makes you seem unrelentingly obsessed to those who don't have the advantage of the bigger picture. Unfortunately, because of this, some will take advantage of the situation to smear you publicly. It's a rather cowardly way for others to 'cop out' of handling issues they would rather not deal with while making YOU look like an obsessed freak, despite your actual M.O.
I personally recommend you ignore those you have unfinished business with. It's simply not worth your time and effort.
That Sucks,
I appreciate your comments, and I have had the same advice from others, but no, I won't leave this alone. Here is why. I have a professional reputation and a sense of ethics about what I have done in my life, professionally. I will not allow someone to drag that down, through the mud, so to speak.
I will not sit by and let anyone say that I am a fraud. I know that for most of you this all becoming very boring, but I will not quit until this is over.
Larc:
Perhaps you could lay out exactly what it would take for 'it to be over."
An apology? A retraction?
Perhaps if you laid out what it is you are seeking, the parties involved can (hopefully) consider your requests.
Just a suggestion.
Kismet - your friendly neighbourhood spiderman mediatator (amateur)
Edited by - Kismet on 10 June 2002 23:29:32
Prisca,
I think you know the answer to your question. Of course, they have not apologized. They think I am evil, and they think they are good, just like the religion we all came from.
Hi Larc,
I've been following this thread all along and just want to repeat that I am entirely understanding of your position here. It's easy to say let bygones be bygones, but they're not really resolved, are they? If I had the same thing done to me, I would certainly want to set the record straight. After all, that's one reason we have courts of justice. Newspapers have to print a retraction.
In fact, I probably wouldn't be handling the situation as calmly as you are. If you don't defend yourself, who will? And if you're not worth defending, who is? I think you have taken the high road by remaining dignified, yet still not allowing unresolved issues and attacks to remain standing.
Pat
