Top 10 articles we'd never see in the WT or Awake.

by dustrabbit 13 Replies latest social humour

  • dustrabbit
    dustrabbit

    As the title says....
    10. The Last Days: Our miscalculations.
    9. Love thy Nieghbor (in your bedroom...)
    8. Satan -- He's not so bad after all! Exclusive Interview
    7. The Shocking Truth Behind the Dateline Story: We're Guilty!
    6. Our Brief, Torrid Affiar with Koffi Annan
    5. Serena and Venus: The Awake photo shoot in Maui you've got to see to believe!
    4. Inside Bethel: One sister's shocking tale of things that go "Bump!" at Night
    3. "New Light": A Roomful of old geezers lighting up on funny green cigarttes?
    2. Prince: You too can be saved if you "Gett Off"
    1. Young People Ask: You mean to tell me Mr. Soapy and Rosie Palmer are good replacements for my Girlfriend?!?

    To do list:
    1.Still waiting to goose the Organization.

  • SYN
    SYN

    OOOH I'm gonna have lots o fun with this one! OMG! Ctrl+B and Ctrl+I and Ctrl+U work guys! Easy keyboard shortcuts!

    10. Early Watchtower Policy: Why We Let Bethelites Celebrate Christmas.
    9. Miracle Wheat: Applications for True Christians.
    8. Conspiracy Theories: We Predict the End of The World.
    7. OOps, We Were Wrong: How The Governing Body Screwed Up.
    6. Murder and Abuse: Why We Do It. (Hint: We Couldn't Care Less About the R&F)
    5. Turning A Publishing Corporation Into A Cult: The Christian Viewpoint
    4. Asking Questions During The Watchtower Study: You Will Not Do It, Or Else.
    3. Smurfs: How Christians View These Demonic Figurines From Outer Space (Not From The Pleides Region of Outer Space)
    2. The Internet: We Don't Know What The Heck It Is, So We're Banning It. Oh, and Please Visit Our Official Website.
    1. Oral Sex: How To Tell Your Elders About It (Also includes handy divorce guide).

  • Simon
    Simon

    y'know you can easy add images from other pages by right clicking, doing copy and then paste in the edit box too

    Here ... a free dartboard for you all - just print out and pin to your wall:

  • dustrabbit
    dustrabbit

    More Articles:
    The REAL Michael the Archangel: Washed-up popstar, washed-up basketball player, or washed-up 1st Century Crazed Nut?

    ET: He's a JW too!

    THE JWZone: Those Crazy Kids and the Things They Post!

    Young People Ask: How can I dress like the Williams Sisters?

    The Best of Awake: 10 tips to get your cheatin' lover back

    Young People Ask: Do Apostates Make Better Lovers? (You Bet'cha!)

    From the Archives Why we Stole the Mormon's Pyramid Chart

    History Lesson: Why the Organization exploited Einsenhower's Mother

    Victoria's Secret: Watch Elder Victor discover his wife's secret stash....Revealing pictures

    TV and God: Jehovah and the Star Trek Connection

    the dustrabbit

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    A few more

    The Pyramids: The Basis for Prophesy

    Wife Beating: How to do it and who cares

    Men and Sexuality: How to get what you want using the Bible

    Modesty for Christians: How to measure your skirt length and checking your cleavage

    Training your child: How to make the "Rod of Discipline"

    Alcoholism: How to hide your drinking from others

    Elders: Comfort the Flock: How to disguise your true "WOLF" self

    Elders: Handling the Word of God aright: The Watchtower Essentials

    Young People Ask: Can I drink like Daddy?

    The Police: Our Enemies

    Therapy for JWs: Unnecessary counseling for victims of abuse

    Secrets that Hurt: Don't Tell Anyone

    Reputations Count: People don't

    No offence I hope - sometimes even the victims have to laugh at the absurdities

  • D8TA
    D8TA

    1. Finance: Who Pays the Governing Body's Salary
    2. Finance: Make Money - Buy Military Stock
    3. Sex: The Scarlet Beast - Ride'm Cowboy!
    4. Truth: What We Really Don't Want You To Know
    5. Political: We Have the Right To Say What WE Want, You Don't
    6. New Light: Homer Simpson's Guide to the Light Switch: Light on. Light off. Light on.....
    7. Blood: We Screwed Up !
    8. Prophecy: How To File For Chapter 11 - Our Story
    9. Legal: Elders - How Do They Pay Lawsuit Costs Without Our Help?
    10. Mine: The Ass Kicking We Got - And Why We Deserved It

    D8TA

  • NewWay
    NewWay

    SORRY:
    For All The Trouble We've Caused

  • SYN
    SYN

    NewWay, that is by FAR the most unlikely title, ever!!!!

  • LDH
    LDH

    Have you seen the new coloring book brochure?

    "If you think education is expensive, try unemployment!"

    Lisa

  • termite 35
    termite 35

    Do you remember...

    Just how good your life was until we entered it ?

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